Wake up to the blessings around you

Here are a few things you can do if you are interested in waking up to your blessings...awaken from your daily slumber.  Starting your One thousand gift lists. 

Awakening...really waking up to your senses helps you experience beauty...His beauty all around you.

Interested in getting started counting gifts?

1.  Ask God to open your eyes and make your heart sensitive to your surroundings, your world so that you begin to see your gifts—your life, through a new perspective.


2.  Thank Him for what He shows you and write it down.

Gift Lists # 86-99

Letting God lead my blog and do what He wants with it.  Follow His lead.
Rubbing & massaging husbands aching back
The writing down of poems
audio Bible
preparing to juice fruit for family in the mornings.  Peeling oranges.
sun shining...glare so bright
listening to birds
listening to chattering children
quaint coffee shops
cooking, listening to Bible reading while kids play outside (my alone time)
making pie crust for family...the mixing of the flour...rolling it out.
eating ice cream cones with Kennedy and younger children
family talks...preparing for family trip...seeing excitement of children
preparing family meals

"To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives—the good as well as the bad, the moments of sorrow, the success as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections...that requires hard spiritual work."

 Henir Nouwe, Bread for the journey.

Fernando Ortega's tribute to Ruth Graham...from the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association...beautifully done.  A beatiful gift.  Blessings

Give me Jesus

Gratitude lifts the spirit

Right into the heavenly.  Did you know giving thanks could do that?  She told us, made us aware of it: "All is grace."  And now seems like I'm seeing it everywhere: Grace.  Gratitude.  Beauty.  Gifts...more abundantly.

Remember, "The difference is Christ in me, not a different set of circumstances." ~ Elisabeth Elliot

This house ...

You might call it ugly.  Unattractive, but to us it's where the laughter, the talks and the love takes place. The training of the next generation.  Husband and wife lovingly loving. It's our home.  Once we called it "beautiful," but then my husband hired someone who really wasn't worthy of the work.  The door-to-door salesman understands how hard it is to provide for family on commissions.  Some day's, he knows, you make zero.  Nothing.  So when he met a guy who said he would transform our home—a guy who was out of work, down on his luck, he hired him wanting to help him out.

Well, our tile got pulled up before we had new tile to put down. The door with the oval glass that I loved so much got taken down and replaced.  The glass screen that I'd wanted for so long is put in incorrectly. The painting of the walls...fireplace was started on, but was never completed.  So were the cabinets.  The draw that should be beside our new dishwasher is gone.  The dishwasher spills water when it's turned on and the faucet on the sink leaks.  And now the counters are peeling.  Just enough to make a girl like me cry, right?  You would think so, but this girl has learned a thing or two about beauty and gratitude.  God has bestowed on this girl a book by Ann Voskamp,"One thousand gifts: A dare to live fully right where you are."  I'm holding on to this book for dear life.  It is my Lifesaver.  God knows exactly what to give us, when to give it and how.  I've learned about penning the gifts I see and I'm loving it.  I didn't think I could live fully right here in this place and give thanks for it, but the impossible is becoming possible even within me...my heart.  My heart leaps for joy...unimaginable joy when I think about the secret God has bestowed on me.  He's given me the "key"  the secret to living a life of contentment and joy...peaceful life.  In this life that is uniquely mine, I'm begining to find gifts in abundance all around me.

Use to be I would complain, complain, and complain.  I was embarrassed by this house.  But it is my home a place where I should feel pride so I do what I can and most importantly I'm changing my attititude thus the attitude and of children.  They are like sponges, aren't they.  They soak up the lessons.  They watch and they listen.  Then they imitate.  The Jesus they see starts with seeing Him in me and their dad.  Looking through the new lenses of my life seeing from a different perspective, from the perspective of gratitude, I see a new beauty, right here in this house.  There is love in this house.  There is joy and the counting of gifts together in this place and the growing in grace and God right here, in this place. 

In this house, yes, this one, the one we left behind—wanting to get away from...we don't have five bedrooms, a theatre room, pool and other bells and whistles.  No God had us leave there by means of a fire, and come back here to the seemingly barren.  

This was a hard lesson, one I'm still learning.  In life there is loss. I can't lie and say it was easy.  It hasn't been, but it is rewarding...the learning—the learning from growing pains.  This is a leaning into the ugly... and giving thanks.  "All is grace."  And this place, this place is a grace place.

This house is where we meet for family prayer.  Say, "I love you."  Make memories...dance, sing, laugh, school, learn, share in meals, conversation, life, dreams and disappointments.  This ugly is where love is made daily.  In this ugly we see each other again.  Before we had to call kids on cell phones and had even started not seeing them often, in the beauty of the big home.  The home that made us feel good about ourselves.  In this house we're just a rocks throw away from one another.

"Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday ephiphanies, those transecendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world." ~ John Milton

The Eucharist lifestyle

To live fully right where I am...numbering gifts is how I will live out the remainder of my life, be it near are far.

This numbering of gifts is souls food.  It satisfies. 

Relationships, life they are all seen through a different perspective.  Even the way I look at myself.  As Ann says in her book, there are some hard thanks, but I'm even learning with those that many of them—the ugly situations will be the very situations that allows the beauty to glow.  His beauty. 

I want Him...His beauty.  Long to fill my days with Him more.  This is what the counting of gifts is doing for me.  I feel the pull—the yearn of wanting to be His woman again.  I continue to feel Him here in the moments.  I know that He's pleased.  He likes this: me counting gifts.

I must become more obedient and live more of a Eucharist life...right here.  Right now.  Even in the ugly.

"Thanksgiving is possible not because everything goes perfectly, but because God is present.  The Spirit of God is within us—nearer to us than our own breath.  It is a discipline choose to stitch our days together with the thread of gratitude.  But the decision to do so is guaranteed to stitch us closer to God.  Attend to the truth that 'bidden or unbidden' God is present.'" ~ Erasmus






Items in post:

Eucharist plate
Eucharist (Gratitude) Journal

Slowing down to see God

May you slow your life down enough today my friend so that you catch a glimpse of your God in the moment.  Be intentional about it.  Look for Him.  Pray for Him to open your eyes—anew.  To bring forth noon light in a new way.

Embrace the lifestyle of radical gratitude today, will you do that?

All is grace?

That's what Ann always says. 

I don't know about you but sometimes I have questions—all kinds.  I don't necessarily pray about them, I just wonder.  I've always been that way: someone who sits back and "wonders why?"  Most of the things I've never shared.  That's why it was kind of eerie when I started reading Ann's book.  She addresses so many of my "unspoken" wonders—they seem to be hers and probably even some are yours.  She's bold in her writing and gets bare.

Today is Monday, which means I am participating in the Gratitude Community started by said author pictured above.  My gratitude list consists of things that I find through the day and list in my journal...things that I'm thankful for.  Are you going to participate?  Have you gotten your journal and started penning your gratitude, your gifts with us?  You should.  It is transforming. Grace awakening.
Have you ever thought about: "All is grace?"  I had not.  I realized that God is gracious, merciful, kind, and loving, but I never sat down, until this evening, and pondered on "All is grace."  Ann signs her name like that sometimes.  Upon seeing that for the first couple of times I would think, "What is that about?"  Silently wondering "Ok.  Is that really necessary?"  Or wondering if she was trying to be some sort of spiritual giant ?"  I didn't really feel the latter being true about her, so I just accepted that as "her way."

But I think I got it now!  Slow me.  Just me sitting here typing on my computer...attempting to write is in fact: Grace.  Why?  Well, I think it is because, "All is grace." Hm, isn't that something!  Just got it!

Of course, I had forgotten it too: "All is grace."  I was sitting on my bed, about 2 am thinking how I'm so ready to move out of the house we are in right now.  The 28th of this month—February, will be a year since the fire in our other home, our much larger home, brought us back here.  This house—our "grace filled home" is only 1800 sq ft, and we are a family of 9 and home school.

I remember my daughter lamenting over the lost of her big room days after the fire.  I'm now missing our pool, my office, my  privacy.  But at the time when my daughter began her complaint I was just so thankful to have another home to go into.  God really looked out for us.  We had been paying electricity here for over a year so when the fire fighters told us our home wasn't livable and the electricity would have to be cut off.  We simply drove 20 min. to this house and turned the heat on.  It was snowing here during that time.  Anyway, I remember telling my daughter that I understood her feelings and that they were perfectly legitimate, but we had to accept whatever plan God had for us, and that more than anything we had to always remember that He loves us—regardless of what our situation "looked" like.  God loves us—period, and it was He who ultimately knew what is best for all of us.  That was then.

Close to a year later, nothing much has seem to change and I was beginning to murmur in my heart—until I remembered "All is grace."  Instantly I saw my life, again, through "new" lenses and my perspective began to change and think about grace and gratitude.   I'm quickly reminded that this house is our "ram in the bush" no doubt.  But it is small. Yet, it is where He has placed us.  Placed us here to call this home.

Do we need to spread out. Yes! Clutter abounds over here.  Books, books and books.

I remember her words, seems as if she was talking directly to me: "Suffering nourishes grace, and pain and joy are arteries of the same heart. ..."

"What, in the world, is grace?"  The author asks.  She goes on to say, "God is always good and I am always loved.  Everything is eucharisteo"  Is that the grace?  I ask.  I answer, too, yes it is.  Grace a benevolence.  Favor.  God's gift of good things.

The reading of her words causes my heart to repent, "Dear Lord forgive me once again for complaining.  I thank you for our covering.  The roof over our heads—this small house, your benevolence.  Your favor.  Your gifts to us.  Thank you."

I shall go on, in this house until God says otherwise.  Giving Him thanks: eucharist.  You see I know He loves me—us regardless of what my circumstances may look like.  He is working it all out, "laboring to birth my grief into greater grace."

Words to ponder on—live by, from author Ann Voskamp,

"Everything is eucharisteo.  Because eucharisteo is how Jesus, at the Last Supper, showed us to transfigure all things—take the pain that is given, give thanks for it, and transform it into a joy that fulfills all emptiness....

This is the hard Eucharist.  The hard discipline, to lean into the ugly and whisper thanks to transfigure it into beauty."

These words.  Her words.  His words.  Soothes my soul this morning.  These words, this book...this blog...her blog...participating in community...grace given to me to teach me about gratitude: the giving of thanks.  Eucharist.

The Gratitude List #'s 75-85

~ hurting husband making dinner for his hungry and tired wife.
~ this small house
~ my life as it is now ... what I am learning about life.  The woman I'm still becoming.

~ watching my baby boy ride his bike standing up.  Proud look of accomplishment on his face.
~seeing daughter play outside doing flips & handstands.  Such a Walton's moment!
~ The Walton's back on T.V!!!!!  Love them!
~ blogging about people I admire, important causes and stories I believe in.  ~ my voice
~ children's love for church
~ gathering the children for story time.
~ birds eating at the feeder
~ eight year old son, my baby boy, making himself and mom a peanut butter & jelly sandwich, and him saying to me—as he brings the sandwich, "Oops, I'm sorry.  I forgot to wash my hands."  This is the same son I just watched for 10 min. digging in the dirt.  All is grace, right?  I thanked him and God and we ate smiling & eating our sandwiches.  Priceless.


Yes, friend, it is all grace.  Every moment.  Every breath is nothing but His amazing grace.

Items in picture:

Gratitude Journal- a place to record the counting of His gifts.
One thousand gifts: A dare to live fully right where you are.
Join the book club and listen to Ann talk about the chapters.

Life without limbs

Life without arms, hands, fingers and legs?

Could you serve God if this was your truth?  More importantly, would you serve Him?  Would you see your life as a blessing or a curse?

Born in 1982, Dr's have no medical explanation for this cause. 

One would think that Nick's life was over, right ... "Never really began," some may say.

Well, to those who say that, I say, "Oh how wrong you are...But God ..." 

Yes, God had a plan for Mr. Vujicic's life.  God, Nick's creator and Father, is using Nick to touch the lives of others (you and me) and to bring the hope of Christ into people lives world wide.

When I first heard about Nick's story I immediately thought about the conversation between Jesus and his disciples about the blind man.

"As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. 
And His disciples asked Him, 'Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?'
Jesus answered, 'It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of
God might be displayed in him.'"

A common belief in Jewish culture was that calamity or suffering was the result of some great sin.  But Christ used this man's suffering to teach about faith and to glorify God.  We live in a fallen world where good behavior is not always rewarded and bad behavior not always punished.  Therefore, innocent people sometimes suffer.  If God took suffering away whenever we asked, we would follow Him for comfort and convenience, not out of love and devotion.  Regardless of the reasons for our suffering, Jesus has the power to help us deal with it.  When you suffer from a disease, or tragedy, or disability, try not to ask, 'Why did this happen to me?'  or 'What did I do wrong?'  Instead, ask God to give you strength for the trial and a clearer perspective on what is happening. ~ NASB Condordance

"Nothing here, below is profane for those who know how to see." ~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin 

To find out more about Nick Vujicic's ministry: Lifewithout Limbs.  From No Limbs.  To No Limits please go here.  Nick Vujicic's ministry.

::: a repost from the archives

Home life is teaching me about character and gratitude

"Should swiss  alps be capitalized?" I ask my eight year-old son.
"Wait ... what is that again?  He asks seemingly frustrated.
"Take a break." I say.
"Thank you!" He exclaims.

Today has been a tough one— long.  Not only have I had to homeschool, cook, do laundry and ..., I've also had to throw some unexpected lessons on: kindness, not being vengeful and The Golden Rule.  Today reminded me of Elisabeth Elliot and what she often said, "We have to teach our children, line upon line, precept upon precept."  This is no easy task and isn't for the faint of heart!

I often sit back and wonder "Am I messing these kids up?"  They are so sinful and haven't been around half the stuff I grew up around, yet I was so different it seems.  There was only my brother and me, and I am five years older so that could account for why we didn't argue as much.  Both of us attended school outside of the home too so we weren't with each other 24/7 the way my kids are.

Today in our home during school time:  sisters bickered...brother's disagreed...sister and brother argued and  on and on went the cycle.


This is how it went:

Child comes in from back yard in tears. "What's wrong?" I mistakenly ask.
"...won't let me ride the Escalade ..."
"Yeah, but you got off." Goes the other child.
"Yeah to go to the bathroom," says crying child.
"Okay, so you got off!"
"Help me Lord," is my whisper.

I had one flame after another to put out, but in doing so I saw and I learned ... .

I saw how much God loves.  I was a bit shamed at thinking about some of the things I try Him with and what I put Him through.  Showing me myself as I dealt with my children gave me perspective and the strength to keep going.  If God could be patient than so could I, right?  In seeing myself and how my Father deals with me, I was able to bestow grace and mercy on my kids.  The more they came with complaint, the more He continued to whisper.  I'm thankful that I was able to hold on to Him during those nerve wrecking—nit picking "trying times."

God didn't stop there either.  He quickly showed me how to put a stop to all that was coming my way.  The Lord showed me how my kids are to let nothing come between their relationship thus breaking up the harmony between them, and when they allow a "thing" or something to break the relationship that "thing" has to go.  I instructed them that the building up of the relationship is what's most important and should always be preserved.  If they couldn't comply, then the toy or toys has to be put up for a week.  Of course, they didn't want to put the toys away; therefore, they quickly came to a resolution.

The other awakening that I put "back" into place is when they said something "ugly" or unkind to one another, they had to hold hands and walk together to a room, sit and think of five things they liked about their siblings character.  Once they both had their five things they had to come and share those good things with the family.

I'm learning that being at home with my children, homeschooling them is not only for them. It is for me too. I'm learning in leaps and bounds right along with them about the most important thing—not school work: character.  Gratitude. 

Last night before bed I thanked God for showing me His extended love for me while allowing me to deal with my children.   He calmly and lovingly walked me through each crazy episode of the fights.  By the time night came and we had fallen into bed.  We concluded our night with a Walton's night calling.

"Have a good and Godly day"

Laughing and talking echoes through the house.  Some of the kids are at the dinner table doing their school work, and some are in the kitchen talking to me while I stir the beans and make the corn bread.

"The chicken is almost done."  I tell the kids who are in the kitchen.  My son hollers across the room to notify those at the table.

"Underline the nouns and tell me which ones are common  & which ones are proper."  I yell from the kitchen.

My daughter brings me her paper.  She's working on her vocabulary from Classical Roots.  She whines.  I tell her to correct her mistakes (again).

We break bread for lunch.  Interrupted by the call of my husband, who has already called a handful of times.  "What y'all doing?"  He asked.

"About to eat."  I say.

"I wish I was there with y'all.  Can't wait to put this meat online, then I'll be home too."

We finish conversation.

Kids make Mama feel good.  They rant and rave over the food.  The smell.  The taste.  The look.

"I love when you are feeling good, Mom,"  My daughter says.

"Me too."  We hug and eat.

After lunch I call for story time, they come including the 17 year old son.  They lay scattered on the living room floor, and in chairs—some on me.  I read "The Fully Belly Bowl."  We laugh and have fun.

God's Word says, "There is a time for every thing under the sun."

Sometimes I get restless and don't want to "wait" for  "my time."

I want to be a publish author, now.

I want to "bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan" now.

I want—I want.

Yesterday, today... this is my time to be at home...training my children.  Teaching them the nuggets of life.  Teaching them about eucharisteo: giving thanks, at an early age.  My children are growing so fast.  I only have a certain amount of time with them in our home.  A certain time to instill what God has called me to instill.  This calling—the holy work.  My holy work of being a stay-at-home mom, homeschool mom, wife, Christian, writer, woman is what He has called me to do.  But they are all unfolding in bits of sequence and time.

God has allotted us so much time on earth.  For Jesus it was 33 years to be about His Father's business.  You and I have an allotted time, and after He's called us home that's it.  There's no more "time" and the time to work will be over.  That's why it is imperative for the Christian to be "about their Father's business" always.

Yesterday after the day was done, I was exhausted.  Kids and husband still wanted to talk, but I fell asleep on them all. Though my body was tired, I felt so good.  I had had a great day, a day where I knew God was pleased.  I'd used my time wisely—for the most part, and I'd worked hard on accomplishing the goals He had given me for the day.  Had I done all of them and had I done them perfect? No.  But I'd used my time wise, went to Him about the day several times for guidance.  I knew My Father was pleased and so was I.  In fact my entire household felt the difference of me doing "it" my way and doing "it" His way.  I love days like that.  Today, I will strive for another.

Woodrow Kroll with Back to the Bible always closes his program with this saying,"Have a good and Godly day for what lasting value is a good day, if it is not also a Godly day."

That has to be my aim.  My goal is to not only have a "good day," but a Godly day.  In this time frame that God has given me I want to be sure that my time here is laced with Godly days so that they will have lasting value.

Make certain my friends to have not only good days, but strive to have the last value of a Godly day.

"Forever is composed of nows." ~ Emily Dickinson

Instruction from the wise

Godly instruction is great and should be carried out regardless of who the messenger is.  However, Godly instruction (wisdom from the wise)  from our elderly is becoming more and more priceless.  As I get older I'm learning that "older" and gray head doesn't necessarily mean "wise" as I believed when I was younger.  Even more treasured is wisdom which comes from a mother or father-in-law.

Moses...the leader of the Hebrews was blessed to have such a father-in-law. A wise man. 

I've been reading through Exodus.  I've laughed and I've cried.  At times I have felt as if I were watching a movie—  I mean come on : "Moving clouds."  "Wheels coming off of chariots." Confusion.  Reading Exodus has been sheer delight...so much so that at times my family runs in to see what's going on after witnessing my loud comments and delight!  It's been a pleasurable experience.

I don't know about you, but I am, or at least I thought I was pretty familiar with the ten commandments.  You know ... Moses going up to Mount Sinai to write them, etc?  I found out that I wasn't as familiar with them or their background (how they came about) as I thought. I remember reading the story of Moses' father-in-law telling him that "the thing that you are doing is not good." after witnessing that Moses judged the people alone.  The Scripture says in verse 13 of chapter 18, "It came about the next day that Moses sat to judge the people, and the people stood about Moses from the morning until the evening."

It just didn't dawn on me that this  was the beginning ...  one of the motivating factors to the need of the commandments.  Turns out that up until Moses wrote the Law the people had no written law—only the counsel of Moses.  It seems that before Moses stepped into the picture—God spoke to individuals as He saw fit.  I knew this, but I hadn't paid attention—given it much thought.

I ask that you take some time to read the counsel that Jethro Moses' father-in-law gave him.  It's long, but there are words of wisdom laced in these instructions.  I'm certain you will gain insight on some perspective by meditating on the dialogue between father-in-law and son-in-law:  Exodus 18:17-27

Moses' father-in-law said to him, 'The thing that you are doing is not good.  You will surely wear out, both yourself and these people who are with you, for the task is too heavy for you.  You cannot do it alone.

Now listen to me: I will give you counsel, and God be with you.  You be the people's representative before God, and you bring the disputes to God.

Then teach them the statutes and the laws, and make known to them the way in which they are to walk and the work they are to do.  Furthermore, you shall select out of all the people able men who fear God, men of truth, those who hate dishonest gain, and you shall place these over them as leaders of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties and of tens.

Let them judge the people at all times, and let it be that every major dispute they will bring to you, but every minor dispute they themselves will judge.  So it will be easier for you, and they will bear the burden with you.

If you do this thing and God so commands you, then you will be able to endure, and all these people also will go to their place in peace.

So Moses listened to his father-in-law and did all that he had said.

Moses chose able men out of all Israel and made them heads over the people, leaders of thousands, of hundreds, of fifties and of tens.

They judged the people at all times.  The difficult dispute they would bring to Moses, but every minor dispute they themselves would judge.

Then Moses bade hi father-in-law farewell, and he went his way into his own land.' 

What is the message? 

We are not lone rangers.  We're not meant to endure alone.


Don't carry your burden alone.


I know one of the things I've been guilty of is wanting to help others, but not willingly accepting help.  It's very uncomfortable for me to accept help or even ask for it.  I've been told it's pride.  I can sort of see that, but what I do know for sure is that I can get "low" when I try to do things on my own.  Be the lone ranger.  I become overwhelmed.

It's a slow process, but I'm learning with age that I can't do it ... by myself.  I get tired and worn out much easier now.  Tired and worn out Angela means a much crankier Angela.  So ...

Let's not carry our burden's alone.  Ask for help and receive instruction.  Find a God fearing, trust worthy person who can bear your burden with you.  Doing this will help us endure ...

And let me just put my side note here:  I love that Moses' father-in-law didn't linger.  He said what he had to say and moved on. 

Through Israel's experience at Mount Sinai, we learn about the importance of obedience in our relationship with God.  His laws help expose sin, and they gave standards for righteous living.

"Proper delegation can multiply our effectiveness while giving others a chance to grow." ~ NASB

And don't forget to be a person who accepts wise instruction.

This is a repost from a previous day

Becoming a better you, through broken relationships

As I get older I'm learning that life and close, intimate, relationships can be extremely difficult.  I use the word intimate as these are the relationships where eventually the mask has to come down—giving those closes to you the opportunity to see and learn who you really are.  Regardless of how giving you are in any relationship things can still go awry, causing everyone involved to view the fall of the relationship or disagreement from their perception, thus starts the pointing of fingers.

This has been my lot as recently as last month.  Not wanting my pain to be in vain I've gone on a search, looking and longing to learn.  One of my biggest conclusions is simple, even in examining my behavior:

"Put no confidence in the flesh."  There is no perfect life; there is no perfect person, and there is no perfect relationship.  Period.  We are all flawed, born in sin shaped in iniquity.

Coming to this truth may seem like a "no brainer," but it wasn't for me.  In fact, it is a monumental lesson and is helping me in several ways.  I've put safeguards in place for myself.  These are practices we can all incorporate into our relationships:

• Be very careful at labeling people and putting them on pedestals.  Remember they are human too.  Learn to give people the room and freedom to fall, even you.
• Examine yourself.  Allow God to teach you about you.  There is always something to learn in any kind of relationship, even the so called "bad ones."
• Ask yourself some of the tough questions: (1) What is God trying to teach me?  (2) What is God trying to teach me about me?  (3) What part did I play? (4) Is this accusation that was brought against me true—even a little? (5) Listen to what the other is saying against you, study your behavior, and more than anything...take responsibility for your own actions.
• Don't be afraid to speak up.  Be firm, yet loving.  Mean what you say and say what you mean.

There are lessons for all to learn in relationships.  Learn them.  Be one to accept wise counsel even though it may hurt.  Accepting and learning from situations only make us better, and it helps us grow.

"We are fallen creatures and all very hard to live with. ~ C.S. Lewis

The List # 68-74

~ the hurt & pain
~ lessons learned
~ the writing of feelings
~ peace in acceptance
~ growing pains
~ wise counsel
~ God's people

Weekend rest

Weekend rest, I doubt if you're in an area that is having beautiful weather, this weekend, you'll be one to stay inside (your home anyway).  Rest is what I wish for you this weekend, even if you find that rest by doing... moving, being away from your home.  Maybe this weekend will find you taking:

~ a stroll ...

~ reading a book ...

~ going out to eat ...

Whatever your hands find to do this weekend—don't forget to see the beauty in your life.  The beauty around you.  The gifts.  His gifts.  Count them. Thank Him for them.  Thank Him for life, the breathing—inhaling, exhaling.  Pay attention to your surroundings, the smiles, the laughter, the joy, the peace, the sun or the snow, your love one, fellowship, solitude.

Let His beauty & grace be a reflection of what you display, and as Ann Voskamp says, "Dare to live fully right where you are."

"Come, rest awhile, and let us idly stray
In glimmering valleys, cool and far away

Come from the greedy mart, the troubled street,
And listen to the music, faint and sweet
That echoes ever to a listening ear,
Unheard by those who will not pause to hear

The wayward chimes of memory's pensive bells,
One step aside and dewy buds unclose
The sweetness of violet and the rose;

Song and romance still linger in the green,
Emblossomed ways by you so seldom seen,

And near at hand, would you but see them, lie
All lovely things beloved in days gone by.

You have forgotten what it is to smile
In your too busy life come rest awhile."

~ Lucy Maud Montgomery

When God seems like He doesn't care

As  some of you know if you read my post yesterday, I was suffering from, "the sin of ingratitude."  After pondering on my life's work, I decided that I wasn't where I wanted to be, and what I've done and accomplished just isn't enough.  Somewhere along the way in my journey called "living" I realized that I'd let my life be "interrupted."  Or had I?

"Why Lord?" Why haven't you allowed me to accomplish ...?

Wallowing just isn't my thing (anymore) so I knew I couldn't stay in that frame of mind. Although I sort of felt like I was right?  Why did everything always seem to come so hard for me?  Why did I have to struggle—fight and plea for my portion?  Why?

"Don't wallow Ang.  Don't do it"... I couldn't focus on the lie and allow it to consume me.  I had to fight and fight hard because my mind told me, "I had a "right" to be angry, and that I was right"  An internal struggled carried on.   I began to pray.  I picked up pen and begin to write.  I wrote of gratitude.  My blessings: gave thanks: eucharisteo.  Why?  Ann tells us that Martin Luther says, "If you want to change the world, pick up your pen."  She then goes on and tells us that Erasmus says, "A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit."  So I know in order to move forward: I must take hold of pen and write.  Write words of gratitude.  Give thanks.  That is my practice, the practice that must form into habit.  When life is low I give thanks and write.  Go in search of His gifts.  Thank Him.  She also says that, "Eucaristeo always precedes the miracle."  So I practice.  And I forget.  Forget about the dreams gone by ... the time that I feel I've wasted.  Ann is right.  Once again, my joy returns, and I proceed with the work of the day.  My calling.  He loves me with all His heart and "giving thanks" reminds me to love Him the same—with all my heart.

After I finished schooling the kids I quietly slipped away to my room with His gift in hand.  It is my bread.  As I sat reading her life changing words...I thanked Him again and asked for forgiveness.  I let the poetic rhythm of her words—really His words...take root.  And I gave thanks: eucharisteo.

Later that evening I thought about her and decided to visit.  I'm so glad I did, I was blessed and ministered to by yet another one of God's women.  Oh, how beautiful she looked.  Make-up and hair just right!  She spoke to me.  She, like Ann, understands.  They understand me.  LIFE INTERRUPTED, is what she calls it. I was kind of thinking on the lines of, "Ain't much of nothing happening for me," but I'll accept "life interrupted."  Priscilla said it's not a life interruption if it's coming from God.  It's a "spring board to what God has for us ..."  Super natural results.

I know with every fiber of my being that God loves me, and knows what's best for me.  I know He has a plan for me... But ... at times He seems to take so long and if I'm honest seems to "not care" ... Now I know that is not true, but that's how it feels to me sometimes

If I can leave you with anything I'd like to remind you that sometimes we just have to be still and rest.  Rest in knowing that He knows exactly what He's doing and He knows exactly what we need.  I point you back to Exodus, yet again.  God knew that Israel needed to go through the wilderness to get to the Red Sea.  It was He who took them through the wilderness.  It was He—using Moses, who parted the sea, gave the clouds, the food, the water, protection and ... .  In the wilderness is where He performed the miracles.  The wilderness that He led His people through.  I continue to say "wilderness" because that's where I felt like I was in my mind yesterday. 

When you are feeling down and out—discontent, give thanks and learn.  C.S. Lewis says, "If you think this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place of training and correction and it's not so bad."

Feeling as if your life has been interrupted?  Listen to what Priscilla Shirer has to say.

Related post items:

Love the Lord your God - walligraphy

Gratitude Journal

I want more...I think?

He loves me right?  I don't feel loved.  I wonder:  Why are things so hard for me?  Why can't I have a few of my heart desires?  Sure, He cares for my basic needs:  food, shelter and clothing, but can't I have just a little more?  Can't I see what the other side is like?  You know over there.  Can't I have a few of the things that ... has?


"Lord forgive me for a heart so ungrateful and foolish.  I don't mean to be.  I just want more and wonder why I can't have it?"

Am I simply meant to be a wife, mother who homeschools, and blog?  Just be a keeper of the house, clean and take care of the laundry, cook ...?  Be the one to point others in the right direction?  I love it, don't get me wrong.  I just want more.  I think.

Is that bad— me wanting more?  Is it too late for me—have I become to old?  After all I'll be 45 in May.  Are all my dreams and goals just that?  A thought.  A wish.  A wonder?  I wonder.

I wonder if me wanting more means that I'm not satisfied...content?  I am.  But I am not.  Hmmm?

It seems that He has withheld from me.  Yes the holy one.  Seems that He is not giving me like He gives to others.  Yes, I know better.  Intellectually and with my heart, I know that isn't true.  It's a lie.  Satan's lie.

I go back to Exodus.  God's chosen people He leads ... He has a purpose for them.  A plan.

He loved Israel, but He sent them the way of the wilderness.  It was for their good, though they didn't know it.  They didn't feel it either.  They thought He was withholding too.


He, the Father, did it so they wouldn't be frighten.  Isn't that just like a protective parent—a loving parent?  Looking out for the well-being of their children...not wanting them to be frighten.  He loved them.  He had a purpose and plan for them.

He has a purpose and plan for me—far more and better for me than I can ever fathom.  I must remember this.  Keep it close to my heart.  My soul.

"Lord you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure." ~ Psalm 16:5 NIV

Becoming a steady stream of refreshing encouragement to your spouse

This week has brought some surprising developments as it pertains to my husband and my blog.  He's been visiting everyday.  This week he's been a DIHH (do it himself husband).  Get this: not only has he visited, but he's been coming back sharing how MY WRITING is helping him SPIRITUALLY!  This is BIG sisters!  What a blessing!  His praise of my blog and writing has meant so much to me.  It's reeled me in some more y'all.

Experiencing that got me to thinking about today's topic post: The practice of marriage.  Praise and interest in what our spouse is doing seems fitting for discussion today.

Taking an interest in the things our spouse is involved in or in things that are important to them sends a message way better than just the proclamation that comes from our mouth.  Doing—putting forth an effort to do says, "I love you."  Doing is our proclamation in action.  It is us taking time out of our busy schedule for the one who proclaim is import.  We love.  It's stopping and focusing on the other—that is what says, "You are important to me."

That's what God said to us in deed, isn't it?  The Bible says, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son ..."  God demonstrated His love with action:  He gave.  He did not withhold that which was precious to Him—His best. 

When I was first married, I would give things and do things for my husband only to be disappointed when he didn't react the way I thought he should.  What God began to show me is that I gave and did for him, what I wish he would do and give to me.  I gave based on my needs and desires instead of his.  Eventually, I learned his particular love language and finally began to do and give based on that.

My constant prayer here lately is that I not become a burden of complaint to my husband, but instead become his stream of refreshment... a stream steadily flowing waters of refreshing encouragement to him.

In my marriage 20 years of marriage the Lord has grown me and matured me through our problems.  That to me is a gigantic portion of the practice of marriage and our Christian life—growing, loving and moving forward even though we disagree and have struggles.  Maturity. 

If we're not careful our marriages can lose their initial spark when met with conflict and the daily grind of ordinary life pressures.  You know the ones that come with family life, work life and just living. Life can cause us to loose our tenderness with one another—hindering our efforts of becoming that steady stream of refreshing encouragemnt.  The glance and the touch that use to spark such an emotional flame can be met with "I'm tired" "Not now" "What about the kids?"  And a "don't bother me" attitude.
But...we can renew the lost intimacy (if we have it) and our marriage can become a safe haven for the other by focusing on each others strengths, needs and our commitment to the marriage.  It's a lot of work; therefore, we must purpose in our heart to do this REGARDLESS. 

 It also MUST be taken to God daily.  

God will honor this—prayers like this.  It is His will. 

"The more you invest in marriage, the more valuable it becomes. " ~ Amy Grant

Letting go of my yoke: the fear of Cancer

Today is Tuesday—  word day! 

The word that I've been thinking about lately is: yoke.  Yoke as it is referred to in the Bible.  In the Bible the word "yoke" speaks of a wooden bar or a wooden apparatus that is placed over the necks of oxen and other pulling animals which connects them and enables them to pull carts, plows and so on—as seen in the pictures below.  You can also see the ox pulling the brick with the yoke.

Often times we will read where Jesus has used the word "yoke" as a metaphor for describing the union between us—people and our labor of service.  I thought about this word as I lay restless in my bed trying to go to sleep Sunday night. 

Why?  Fear had crept up...  a slew of worries and fear were upon me.  One scary scenario after another plagued my mind.  For those of you who read Ann Voskamp book, you know when she talks about the fear of the big "C" word, cancer?  Gosh how I can relate to that.  Seems like for the past six years (that's how old my youngest is) I've been plagued with thoughts of dying from the disease—leaving my children without a mother.  And it terrifies me! 

That fear is what caused me to write the post Depressed by your circumstances?  Those thoughts are what made me begin to give Him thanks.  That's is the only thing that helps.  Focusing on Him.  I think participating in the Gratitude Community and reading Ann's book, along with my prayers and seeking Him is finally settling me down.  But I'll get to that later.  So ...

As I lay in bed ... focusing on my situation at hand, the ache and pains of my body, He came to me and said, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." ~ Matthew 11:28-30

I've been carrying a heaven burden.  That heavy burden has or I shall say "had" become a part of my labor of service to Him.  Carrying my load of fear.  Fear of getting cancer. 
My mom is a breast cancer survivor and my aunt (my mother's sister) just died in December of 2010 (her funeral was on Christmas Eve).  Two of my mother's brothers died from the disease and my father's parents died from it too...not to mention that my grandmother's two sisters succumbed to the dreaded C.  I've been deathly afraid,.  In 2009 I started something new for myself, "Giving Him thanks in all things THROGHOUT my day."  So regardless of where I was I would stop and pray.  I find somewhere to get along for a few seconds or minute and give thanks.  That has helped me tremendously.  I knew God would take the fear away, but it's been a process 'cause I continued to get in the way.  What that means is that I would give my fear to him daily ONLY TO TAKE IT BACK AND WORRY AGAIN, and again, and again.

In my time of restless fear Jesus spoke to me that the burden I'm carrying is not mine to carry.  My labor of service to him has been laced with restlessness, fear, doom and gloom in some aspects of my life.

We are not to carry our burdens.  We weren't meant to.  Doing so only brings weariness, causing us to focus on situations that are way out of our control anyway. Jesus' yoke frees us from our burdens whatever they be.  I am (you are) to take refuge and rest in the promise that He loves me (us) no matter what...that is my labor of service to Him. Period.  End of story.  With or without cancer.

Being children of God we are to reside in the fact He loves us and His yoke is light.  He is the rest for our soul.

Today take up Jesus' yoke and learn.

Did y'all pay attention to the pictures?  Do you see how heavy that brick looks?  I can't imagine pulling something like that on my own.  Well that's how it is when we pick up loads in our life and try to "work" them out or "figure" them out on our own.  Don't pull the load.  You can't.  It's just too heavy.

"Difficulties and obstacles are God's challenges to faith.  When hindrances confront us in the path of duty, we are to recognize them as vessels for faith to fill with fullness and all-sufficiency of Jesus." ~ A.B. Simpson

Thanks y'all.  Have a blessed day!

Depressed by your circumstances?

Give Him thanks!

Giving thanks for all things is making a tremendous difference in my life. I wrote this article sometime ago, way before I learned about Ann Voskamp's blog: A Holy Experience and her Gratitude Community.  Maybe, now, some of you understand why I'm so drawn to her.  She speaks my heart—my language, and she has a lot of kids just like me!

I thank God for giving me the opportunity to blog and to share with you my heart-felt and most convicting thoughts.  One thing that has really drawn me to participate in this Gratitude Community is that as I go about visiting your blogs I see a lot of me in you.  We are like minded you and me.  I'm beginning to think of you all as friends—my "kinfolk."  Realizing this makes me feel comfortable, and relax in your midst, ready to share.

Today, I share a piece of my heart with you, and I thank you in advance for allowing me to be so comfortable in doing so.

I pray that God touches your heart and through something that you read today and anytime you visit this blog.  So moving along ... 

Giving the Lord "thanks" in all things feels a bit peculiar at first and at times.
The reason being is that, I am choosing my disposition.  Let me just say right now that even though I've chosen to practice this for myself: make no mistake problems still arise.  Difficulties still find their way to me.  Yet, I choose  ... . 

Why is this choice so difficult you may ask?

The Bible says, "For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers in pains of childbirth together until now." ~ Romans 8:22

When Adam & Even sinned, way back in the garden all creation fell into damnation—thus the earth quakes, it storms, it rages and it burns—longing for Peace Himself.  The earth too suffered when Adan & Even sinned, it went from perfect to imperfect making all its inhabitants subject to frustrations and sorrows.

" ...in everything give thanks, for this is the will for you in Christ Jesus." ~ 1 Thess. 5:18. 

Our heavenly Father doesn't want us having fair-weathered emotions; although He understands when we do.  God wants us to give thanks in all circumstances.  This attitude goes against all of our "natural" human tendencies I know.  But it's something we can do.  We must do.  You and I must wake up purposing in our hearts each day to give the Creator thanks.  Giving thanks is a moment-by-moment decision.  I say that  it's a decision that we must purpose to make long before circumstances arise.

By becoming "purposeful" in our hearts we obey Him.  Living a "thanksgiving" life will allow you to start  seeing people and circumstances through new lens of perspective.  It is in this way of life that you find true Peace.  Peace from within.  Not perfection, but Peace.  You begin to experience your holy walk in a new and different way.  You sup with Him.  He sups with you.  You feel His oneness and you become encourage to live out your "thankful" life more and more.

"Giving thanks in all things" is the will of God the Father for His children.  Will you obey?

Challenge:

Purpose in your heart this week (or month if you are brave) to give the Lord thanks for all your circumstances.  This helps us to not become depressed by our circumstances.

Remember Israel in the wilderness?

Why did God take them "the way of the wilderness?"  He knew they would be frighten if they saw the Philistines at war, and may want to go back to Egypt.  God is always looking out for His children's good even when it doesn't feel so good—y'all (sorry had to add my Texas twang in there).

Here's what I'd like for y'all to do: keep a journal of your experiences.

Here's to you giving Him thanks and counting your blessings one by one.

~ Gratitude List ~ #'s 38-67

your uplifting & encouraging comments
God's grace
ice storms—causing us to cuddle & be still
baking peach cobbler
fresh laundry
clean house
vegetables
recipes
watching Superbowl with husband and sons, though I know nothing about football
beautiful blankets & quilts
warm socks
tears of release ... letting go ...saying "good bye"
prayer
His comfort
His love
husband sharing how my blog post is helping him
husband reading of blog...daily
him letting me help him ... use my gifts
writing for Him
denying self for only Him
pretty sweaters
conversations
boots
skirts ~ make me feel feminine
jeans ~ comfort and cute
bangles
rings
earrings
coconut oil
grapeseed oil
husband noticing the "softness" of my skin
Kids noticing mom's skin is soft, so they rub on mom

Share your thoughts.  I'd love to hear from you.


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Beyond The Gates of Splendor, part 2

Today we're going to look at part 2, of the video Beyond The Gates of Splendor.
I hope you were blessed, last week, by the story of the five missionary men who gave their lives for their faith.  It is my hope, too, that you were inspired to make your ordinary life an (extra) ordinary life—just by doing whatever it is He's called you to.

Wherever you are—yes, wherever,be all there and let Him work through you.

These men and their families were no different from you and me.  If there is a difference, the only difference is they were obedient where some of us may not be.  I don't know.  What I do know is just like God used these men to impact lives in their time and season, He means for us to do the same.  And who knows 40 plus years later...someone may be reading or writing your story.  Sharing how you in your "ordinary" way impacted them extraordinary. 

Remember—

"What makes our labor holy, what makes it eternal is not just the work but the state of our hearts while performing that work.  When we comprehend that truth, then we realize washing dishes is as significant to the kingdom as operating on a patient; driving a truck is as eternally triumph as leading a company.  Then, even in the zig-zags of our careers, when life seems more random than ordered, when it feels like we're running in thick and with heavy boots, we can rest in the knowledge we're serving God as we labor faithfully and diligently."

~ Randy Kilgore, Made to matter (thank you David R)

Food: a spectrum of color

 
 
I believe in purposefully emphasizing plant based food in my diet and the diet of my family.  One way I do that is by choosing a spectrum of color for our diets daily...this can become monotonous if I'm not careful.  I'll share with you as we progress into these post how I handle that.

The important thing that I try to remember is to be sure to get the variety of color in my diet daily by eating fresh fruit and vegetables.

Eat them raw.  Eat them steamed.



The Benefits:

Kale is helpful in lowering cholesterol when cooked by steaming.  Raw is effective, too, but not as effective for that particular benefit.  The fiber in this green beauty are good at binding together with bile acids in the digestive tract.  It has been said that the Isothiocyana (ITC's) are have benefits in lowering at least five different kinds of cancer such as bladder, breast, colon, ovary, and prostate.

I'm not a doctor so I don't know, but I can say that I've seen my health improve by including fresh fruits and vegetables in my diet daily.

~

Carrots are a great source of antioxidants and the riches vegetable source of vitamin A carotene's.  Carrots can help protect against cardiovascular disease and cancer and also promote the health of good vision, particularly at night.

~

Avocados contain Oleic Acid, a monounsaturated fat that may assist in lowering cholesterol.  These smooth beauties are also a good source of potassium.  Potassium is good for guarding against circulatory diseases.

~
Ingredients (from Wholefoods)

1 bunch curly kale, stemmed and finely chopped
2 cups grated carrots
1/2 avocado, peeled, and pitted
1/4 cup thinly sliced red onion
2 tablespoons lemon or lime juice
2 tablespoons sesame seeds, toasted
1/2 teaspoon reduced sodium soy sauce

1. Toss all ingredients together in a large bowl. Use your hands or the back of a large spoon to thoroughly mash avocado into kale.
2. Set aside at room temperature for 30 minutes before serving to allow kale to soften.

Serves 4.

The blessing of the wilderness

This past month I seem to have been drawn and have parked myself over in Exodus.  One thing out of many have caused me to slow down and take long moments of pause.  One verse has really kept me up late at night, and I've been dwelling on it throughout my days.  That verse reads:

"Now when Pharaoh had let the people go, God did not lead them by the way of land of the Philistines, even though it was near; for God said, 'The people might change their minds when they see war, and return to Egypt."Hence God led the people around by the way of the wilderness to the Red Sea ..." ~ Ex. 13 18, NASB

In this situation the wilderness was a blessing to Israel. 

And if you're in the wilderness right now—be careful how you respond because you just may be in the middle of your blessing.

In thinking about this passage it reminded me about an experience I went through some years ago when my husband and I purchased some land.  We'd moved out of our apartment into a hotel for supposedly three weeks.  The deal with the land didn't come through and we ended up living in a hotel for over a year!  We lived there with our, then, four kids and all of our homeschool stuff —we even had our three computers and whiteboards with us.  Yes.  It was chaotic in which I tried to find some normalcy for our family.  However, I was livid!  I was so mad with God and my husband and didn't mind telling either of them so.  The deal was I was to have the babies and homeschool...take care of the family.  They were to look after us financially and God was to look out for all of us in every aspect, right? 

"Wrong"  I thought.

One morning while having my Bible reading the Lord convicted me about submission, and a few days later a friend from my church gave me a ticket to see Beth Moore and Priscilla Shierer at one of the local churches.  I went and was blessed.

What was their topic?  You bet, submission.

That day, I cried and prayed out to the Lord and asked Him to forgive me for how I had been acting.  I made a promise to Him to do better and to be more respectful to Him and my husband.

When I got back to the hotel I was joyful, but sorrowful and climbed in the bed next to where my kids and mother (she had come to watch the kids so I could go) was. I didn't have much privacy so I threw the covers over my head and wept...bitterly, "Why was life so hard for me?"  "What had I ever done to deserve such harsh treatment?'

I didn't have much time to give into my sorrow before my husband, the salesman, came "home" from work.  "Hey I found a house that I want you to go see."

"No I don't want to go.  You go and do all the paper work by yourself."  I told him.
"I want you to go with me, Angie."
"NO I ..." Then I remembered the conference and what I'd told my Father...you know the other man in my life who is so patient and gentle with me.
"Okay, let me wash my face."

When we got to the house I immediately remembered my prayer journal list that Elisabeth Elliot had told me to start keeping.  In that journal I'd written, four years previous, that I'd wanted a new house in an older neighborhood with a few elderly neighbors that the kids and I could help out and visit. 
The land that this home had been built on and completed a week previous to us visiting was on an acre and the man who owned the land took the strip of acre and built five new houses on it.  The house that we were seeing being one of the houses.

I'd also told the Lord that I wanted the house surrounded by trees, my husband wanted all brick and we both wanted a one story.

Guess what sat before me?

My husband noticed it right away too.

"Come on let's go inside.  The realtor is waiting."  He said.
"No, you go in.  I'm going to wait here ..."  Yep, I was still angry.  Still having my tantrum.


But...He brought my words back to memory.  You see I told Him that I would submit to Him and to him, but that I would also have behavior worthy of our family name: Christian.  Regardless of the circumstance, so that the people around me would always see Christ in me.

The realtor was watching me.  I prayerfully got out of our van and held my hand out in greeting, "Hi I'm Angela Ambroise."

Yes, we got the house, and we are here today.  We've been here 11 years.

What's my point in sharing this with you?

The wilderness is for us to grow and to learn.

The wilderness is not a bad thing when either the Lord takes us through it Himself , as He did with Israel, or if He allows us to go through it from our own disobedience.  Whatever the reason let your wilderness experience be your holy experience, and remember whatever you are experiencing: the Lord is either leading or allowing it.

The Lord loves me and He loves you of that we can be sure.

{Update} I forgot to mention that we moved out of the particular house that I spoke about in this post for two years.  We moved to our other "dream house".  However, that house caught on fire Feb. 28, 2010 and we moved back here. 


God saw us through that experience too.  It was snowing that particular year, we were all freezing, but the Lord allowed us to drive only a few miles to this house...click on the heat and move some of our belongings in.  We never had to move with anyone or into another hotel (thank God) we just simply moved back home.