Lean hard on the Father



'Child of My love, lean hard, and let Me feel the pressure of they care; I know thy burden, child I shaped it; poised it in My own hand, made no proportion in its weight to thine unaided strength; for even as I laid it on, I said I shall be near, and while he leans on me, this burden shall be Mine, not his.

So shall I keep My child within the circling arms of My own love.  Here lay it down, nor fear to impose it on a shoulder which upholds the government of worlds.  Yet closer come; thou art not near enough;  I would embrace thy care so I might feel My child reposing on My breast.

Thou lovest me?  I know it.  Doubt not then; but, loving Me, lean hard." ~ May Prentiss Smith

"Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you.  He will never let righteous be shaken."  ~ Ps. 55:22

Thank you dearest readers!  I am so proud to say that no one has tried downloading the pictures of Valerie & her family!  I asked and you responded it kind.  So I thought I would share this lovely one.  My favorite of mother & daughter.

Please continue to lift Elisabeth, Valerie, Lars, Walt and the rest of the family in your prayers.

FYI:  I'm considering {more than likely will do} starting a Tuesday posting of "Gateways To Joy."  It is my sincere belief that what Elisabeth  uttered to us over and over again is very true, "Anything if given to God can become our gateway to joy."  So as a testament to her and all that she taught many of us over the years ... things we all are benefiting from these many years later, I thought it fitting to honor her by sharing some of our gateways to joy.  Things that are happening or have happened in our lives that are ugly, yet by giving them to God they have been figured into joy ... sort of like Jim Elliot being murdered, yet his wife went on to bring the gospel {his wife and other family members of the murdered men} to the very people that had killed her husband.

Ann Voskamp shared the ugliness of her young sister being killed by a delivery truck and how that ugliness stayed with her for years, yet when she used that pain as a gateway to Him ... that same ugliness became her "gateway to joy."

We all have our stories of the seemingly ugly being turned into something beautiful.  We know the story of Joseph, Jesus, Mary, Ruth ... and so on.  The Bible is littered with such stories as is our lives.  Would you please consider joining in this community with me on Tuesday and share your stores.

Thank you so kindly dear friends,

Angela

The Prince marries his Princess!

Iremember this ... stayed up all night waiting!!!  Loved her style so much! 


And who would have thought that I would be watching some 20 years later the union of their child!  Brings tears to my eyes ... !!!




Princess Diana & Prince Charles' Wedding: A look back (photos)

Wishing the couple many blissful years and God's blessings!!!

The atmosphere of your heart?

I saw the Lord last night, in my bed with all the children sitting and lying beside me.  All were there in discussion with my husband and me.  We discussed Proverbs 21:3, "Every man's way is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart."

Our discussion got me to thinking about many things well into the night, with me waking up with more thoughts and questions about relationships and how God views our actions within them. 

Friend, when you find yourself in a crisis with another, don't tune the other person out, be mature enough to listen to what they have to say.  Of course it won't be easy, but it is necessary.  A lot of times this is the ugly...the ugly that will turn into beauty eventually with time.  It is a growing pain.  Take heed and learn.  The hard in life are the things that become our holy experience.  All things can be a holy experience, just like all things if given to God can become our gateway to joy.  Learn how to see past the moment.  Ask yourself the tough questions, but never, never shut down communication.  Take a cooling off period if you have to, but get the issue resolved pretty quickly.

"Life is loss," that's what Ann Voskamp says.  Eventually we will loose every personal possession we have...including relationships—primarily to death, not feuding.  Life really is too short to let bickering control the climate of your relationships and how you go on with the life you have left.  Learn to let the seeming hurts in life...the death from the words...the tongue, the action, let it build your character.  The only way to live is to die.  Die to wanting to be right...die to the protection of self.  Take in the hard, grab hold of it so that in due season you can grow wings and fly.  Give gratitude for pain.  Remember, the miracle always proceeds thanksgiving.



Not communicating and getting a situation corrected goes against what God Word says.  Our Father wants conflict resolved.  Think about it parents.  How do you feel when your children aren't getting alone?  Fighting children can bring great stress to the heart of a parent.  Conflicts are to be resolved...even if the relationship can't be fully restored to where it once was.  The Bible says, "Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering."

Our intent is the motivating factor behind the matter...why we do what we do—that is what's most important to an all knowing, righteous God.  That is what God cares about.  God doesn't want His children being Pharisee's, or to use today's term: narcissist.  Just appearing to be "pious"-- just looking the part, does good for no one, at least not in an eternal perspective.  I don't think I have ever read in Scripture where a Pharisee committed murder, but we have read about their behind the scene plots of the acts.  They are deceitful plotters and they totally misunderstood and for those still living, they misunderstand God's law totally.  They miss the teaching about keeping a clean heart.  Yes their hands were clean, but what about the state of their filthy heart.  God cares about our heart, our intent and how we treat others, especially those that are of the same household of faith

Jesus calls us to a greater righteousness... not just a righteous where we "appear' to be righteous Work at not being a person content to obey God's Word outwardly only.  Pay attention to the atmosphere of your heart, and be open to change if that's what's needed.



Don't become content with your appearance and how you can deceive others with your "pious" look, attitude and behavior.  They can't judge you nor reward you. Instead care about the one who is able to judge you rightly...see behind all your fluff. God cannot be fooled as we mere mortals can.  Pious people will be dealt with.  Sure you may do good deeds Mr. & Mrs. Pious, but God is going to judge your motives as well as your deeds. 

The heart...that's where the true story lies of why you do what you do.  Be just as concerned with the attitude and actions that folks can't see my friend.

And ask yourself, "What is the atmosphere of my heart?"











"Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me." ~ Ps. 51:10

Items in post:

Wall Canvass
Heart necklace
Picture frame

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a repost from

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Peculiar, isn't it?

`Once upon a time there was an unhappy couple.  She said it was because they were so mismatched.  She married beneath herself.  In actuality, they were not altogether different.  After all, the reality is that baggage attracts baggage.  One set may have  looked more like a brown paper sack and the other like fine, leather Gucci, but it's all baggage  She kept a cold heart toward him because she knew he had to be bad.  Somewhere deep inside of her it was the very thing that had first attracted her, but she would never admit to such a thing.  Yes, she knew he had to be bad. 

And just as she suspected, he was.  His sins were many and grievous—by anyone's standards.  Terrible and as broad in consequence as a thundering black horizon.  She caught him in his sin, and shame reverberated throughout the broken family.  He fell on his knees in repentance and begged God to save his life and spare his family.  He did.  Though the change in the man was obvious, some things never changed.  She held on to her cold heart and wore her unforgiveness like a corsage of dead roses.  It was her badge of honor to remind her children she would never forgive.



She said it was for their sake.  He took his punishment for years, as did the children.  If she had only known that the effects of her coldness, self-righteousness, and perpetual punishment were just as destructive to their trembling home as were his terrible sins.  One day she died.  The chains of bondage draped a body that had finally turned as cold as her heart.  The last remaining blackened petals on her corsage of dead roses fell to the floor.  She died in her bitterness.  He grieved for awhile and strangely would have had her back—if he could have. 

Then God did a most peculiar thing.  In the man's aging years—years spent feeding hungry people and ministering to any who would have him—God brought him another mate.  One whose heart was warm with affection.  God blessed the latter years of the old man's life with joy and usefulness—yes, even after grievous sins.  His wife of many years never committed any such sins, yet she drowned in the gall of her own self-righteousness—proud to the very last breath that she had never sinned against her family like he.  And he?  Well.  He lived happily ever after.

Peculiar, isn't it?" ~ Beth Moore, When Godly People Do Ungodly Things

The wives of the five American missionaries who were speared to death speak {and more pictures of Valerie Elliot Shepard & her family}. Keeping their story alive!


In January 1956 the world was shocked when learning that five American missionaries had
been speared to death in the Equardorian jungles by the Auca Indians who were reported, at that time, to be the most savage tribe on earth. 

"What seemed to all the world like a tragic ending of the missionaries' dream to reach this isolated tribe was only the first chapter of one of the most breathtaking missionary stories of the twentieth century"

In the video below the wives of the five men speak of their husbands.


Below are some pictures of Jim & Elisabeth Elliot's daughter Valerie Elliot Shepard and her family.  For any of you who have Elisabeth's book The Savage My Kinsman, she's the little blond haired darling who is all grown up now with not only children of her own, but grandchildren too. 

Valerie gave me access to these pictures to share about a year and a half-ago now.  I had them up on one of my blogs, but took them down because folks were downloading them to their computers (yes people, I can see when you click on them or even save them to your computer, and even forward them by email.  I ask that you do none of the above without written consent from either myself or Valerie). 

I have decided to put them up again because finally so many of you are honoring my wishes, and so many of you have wanted to see Jim & Elisabeth Elliot's most beloved. 

Please enjoy the heritage of the Elliot's and continue to keep the family in your prayers.







Don't you just love all of their beautiful smiles!  Valerie's life and the life of her parents' have blessed me, and I know others way more than they will ever know or can imagine on this side of heaven.

I hope these pictures will put a smile on your face today.  Don't forget to keep them and our dear Elisabeth in your prayers.

In talking about Elisabeth & the dreams of the five missionaries, it is my hope to always keep their dream alive.  Their dream should be our dream... to go forth and share the gospel.  It is my hope that this blog does just that.

Blessings dear friends and many thanks!!!
:::

See the article of Frank Drown, the man who found the bodies of the five missionaries.


Elisabeth Elliot on finding peace after her husband was killed

Words of Elisabeth Elliot after finding out her husband and the father of her young daughter Valerie had been murdered: 



"I found peace in the knowledge that I was in the hands of God.  Not in confidence that I was not going to be killed.  Not in any false sense of security that God would protect me, anymore than He protected my husband, the four missionaries or Honorio from the wooden lances.  Simply in knowing that He held my destiny in His two hands, and that what He did was right."

Isn't this why we love her so?  In her life we see ... not perfection, but a desire to live out what she had been taught about the Bible and God all of her life.  Perfect she is not.  A woman who loves her God and worked diligently to live out her faith she most certainly is.

Let us learn from the legacy that Elisabeth has left for us to set the bar for living out God's Word high in our lives.  Let us remember, likewise, that God is the one who holds our destiny in His hands, and from that knowledge let us find our own peace!

"The fact that Jesus Christ died for all makes me interested in the salvation of all, but the fact that Jim loved and died for the Aucas intensifies my love for them."

~ Elisabeth Elliot, The Savage My Kinsman. 

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Then Job answered the Lord and said, 'I know that You can do all things and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.' " ~ Job 42: 1-2

Skim through the pages of Elisabeth Elliot's book or to purchase a copy, click on the link. "The Savage My Kinsman."

Sunday's coming

Jesus yields His Spirit... He dies.  Seems like death has won ... where is His Father?  The Father whose will He is carrying out?  Even He, the Father has turned His back on Him.

Forsaken and alone???  Has Jesus lost the battle?  Has Satan won?  Will the grave be His lasting home?

Listen to the Words of S.M. Lockridge ...




"Christ's death was accompanied by at least four miraculous events:" 

  • The tearing of the temple veil in the temple.
  • an earthquake
  • dead people rising from their tombs
  • darkness

The cross


Please listen, reflect and examine your heart while listening {scroll down to pause the music}.

Bless you and may your days be filled with remembering Him and enjoying your love ones.  Don't forget to count the blessings!

Grace

Grace. 


That's the word that has been on my mind for the past couple of days.


First, how He gives it.  How I receive it.  How I give it.


I'm thankful to Him.... the one who extends grace to sinners.



Last night a friend and I feuded.  "Show grace," is what I told myself.


"I can't.  I'm too upset."


Woe to the sinner who accepts GRACE, but can not give it.

What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you?  Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?  You lust and do not have; so you commit murder.  You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel.  You do not have because you do not ask.  You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures. ~ James 4:1-4

::: a repost

God in the midst

In reading the accounts of Jesus' death in Chuck Swindoll's, "The Darkness and the dawn."  I'm
horrified at the barbaric way the Romans chose death for their convicted criminals.

"How could a soul drive nails in the wrist of another, especially an innocent man, and not be mortified?"  Here God's Son stood in their very midst and they (the many people) missed Him.  Even most of the highly religious leaders missed Him.  How could such a travesty be?

In pondering on this I am led to read my bible and open the pages to read these words, "The woman said to the serpent, 'From the fruit of the tress of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.'



The serpent said to the woman, 'You surely will not die!  For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.'"

God was in their midst and they totally missed Him ... hid from Him, missed out on the experience of getting to know Him fully.  Likewise, Jesus, God's Son, the world's Savior was in the midst of those who wanted Him dead, but they, too, missed Him. Eyes were closed shut to spiritual things.  My heart wants to give a mind lasing of its own to Adam, Eve ... the soldiers, religious leaders, and all the rest!  How could they be so blind and miss that Jesus is the Savior... the one who came to save the world?  And Adam and Eve???  Who in their right mind could see the beauty of the Garden, walk with God and not believe He is not only who He says He is, but why wouldn't they believe what He said?  Why wouldn't they obey?  He was right there ... right there in their midst, for crying out loud.

How quickly my heart is humbled when I remember, go back in the minds-eye and see the many times I've forgone ... rightly ignored God in my mist.  Ignoring God and going our own way always leads to some form of death.  Someone always suffers for our choice.  The Father reminds me that I am more kindred in nature with the ones I'm despising in heart, than I want to believe.



It very well could have been you or me who drove the nails into the wrist of Jesus.  Our actions have panged Him in indescribable ways too.  We've hurt Him.  Devastated Him.  Turned our back on Him while He has been right there beside us...beckoning us to come.  Regardless of how we see ourselves, we're not above it ... crucifying a soul.  We have the same nature, you and I, as did Adam & Even, and the same sin-infested nature of the the religious leaders of Jesus' time, the Roman soldiers and the wicked and unscrupulous crowd who insisted with their chants that Jesus be put to death.

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The Journey of the cross 

After dressing Jesus, the soldiers followed their usual course with criminals:  such a victim was surrounded by four Roman soldiers and led by a centurion, all the while struggling to carry the six-foot cross beam that would later be attached to the larger, vertical post of the cross.  And so it was with Jesus.  After the scourging and beating, however, He was too weak to carry the beam Himself.  Matthew tells us that Simon o Cyrene was pressed into service to help Him (Matt. 27:32).

Once at the site, a placard was placed above Jesus' head that read, 'Jesus the Nazarene, the King of the Jews,' not only in Hebrew but also in Latin and Greek (John 19:19-20).  The chief priests objected to the wording see John 19: 21-22.

Death on a cross

The barbaric form of capital punishment known as crucifixion originated with the Persians, who possibly learned it from the Assyrian practice of impaling criminals on sharpened beams.  In crucifixion, death came slowly and painfully—from exposure, exhaustion, and finally suffocation.  And to ensure the greatest amount of humiliation, it was always done in plain view of a watching public.  Jim Bishop, in his book The Day Christ Died, conveys the horror of this kind of death:


The executioner laid the crossbeam behind Jesus and brought Him to the ground quickly by grasping His arm and pulling Him backward.  As soon as Jesus fell, the beam was fitted under the back of his neck and, on each side, soldiers quickly knelt on the inside of his elbows . . . . The thorns pressed against His torn scalp.

...With his right hand, the executioner probed the wrist of Jesus to find the little hollow spot.  When he found it, he took one of the square cut iron nails ... raised the hammer over the nail head and brought it down with force. ... 

Two soldiers grabbed each side of the crossbeam and lifted.  As they pulled up, they dragged Jesus by the wrists.  With every breath, He groaned.  When the soldiers reached the upright, the four of them began to lift the crossbeam higher until the feet of Jesus were off the ground.  The body must have writhed with pain. ...

When the crossbeam was set firmly, the executioner ... knelt before the cross.  Two soldiers hurried to help, and each one took hold of a leg at the calf.  The ritual was to nail the right foot over the left, and this was probably the most difficult part of the work.  If the feet were pulled downward, and nailed too close to the foot of the cross, the prisoner always died quickly.  Over the years, the Romans learned to push the feet upward on the cross, so that the condemned man could lean on the nails and stretch himself upward {to breathe}.

Each movement cut deeper into the bone and tendons and raw muscle.  Fever inevitably set in, inflaming the wounds and creating an insatiable thirst.  Waves of hallucinations caused the victim to drift in and out of consciousness.  And in time, flies and other insects found their way to the open wounds.


By this time, Jesus knew He had accomplished everything His Father had sent Him to do.  And to fulfill one final Scripture, He said:  "I am thirsty." 

A Jar full of sour wine was standing there; so they put a sponge full of the sour wine upon a branch of hyssop and brought it up to His mouth. ( John 19:28b-29; see also Ps. 69: 3, 21).

With a final effort, Jesus exclaimed, "Tetelestai" — "It is finished!"

His saving work was done, and now He could rest.  Quietly, peacefully, He bowed His head and then died.

The next verses of this passage represent John's eyewitness account of what was done with the Lord's body.  Because Jewish law demanded that the dead be buried before sunset, the Romans would usually expedite the process by breaking the victim's legs (vv. 31-32).  But when the soldiers came to Jesus, they saw that He was already dead, so they didn't break His legs (v.33).  But in one last brutal act, a soldier stabbed Him in the side, and water mixed with blood streamed out (v. 34).

Ad the darkness lifted from the sky (see Matt. 27:45; Mark 15:33; Luke 23:44), the crowd slowly dispersed.  Jesus was dead.  His blood had been shed, His body broken ... just as He had predicted.  It was for the world He loved ... including you and me.

The writer of Hebrews tell us, "By this will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all." ~ Heb. 10:10

Note:  One sign of death is the quick separation of dark red corpuscles from the thin, whitish serum of the blood, here called "water" (v. 34).  Normally, the dead don't bleed.  But after death, the right auricle of the human heart fills with blood, and the membrane surrounding the heart, the pericardium, holds the watery serum.  Jesus' heart must have been punctured with the Roman spear, causing both fluids to flow from His side.

"For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." ~ 1 Corin. 1:18

Reflection—

1.  What does this event tell you about the nature of God?

2.  What does this even tell you about human nature?  {Read John 19: 23-27)

3.  What does it tell you about God's love?

"The Cross is so immense that it's hard to get our minds and hearts around it, isn't it? 

:::

Books for probing further

The Day Christ Died

Meditations on the Cross

The Death of the Messiah from Gethsemane to the Grave

On a Hill too Far Away: Putting the Cross Back into the Center of Our Lives

Living Jesus: Learning the Heart of the Gospel

The Passion of Our Lord

The Death Christ Died: A Biblical Case for Unlimited Atonement

The Cross

The journey to the cross, Death on a cross and books for more reading all come from Chuck Swindoll's book, "The Darkness and the dawn."

God has something for us to do today

`Let us examine our capacities and gifts, and then put them to the best use we may.  As our own view of life is of necessity partial, I do not find that we can do better than to put them absolutely in God's hand, and look to Him for the direction of our life-energy.

God can do great things with our lives, if we but give them to Him in Sincerity.  He can make them useful, uplifting, heroic.  God never wastes anything.  God never forgets anything.  God never loses anything.  As long as we live we have a work to do.  We shall never be too old for it, not too feeble.  Illness, weakness, fatigue, sorrow—none of these things can excuse us from this work of oursThat we are alive today is proof positive that God has something for us to do today."

~ Anna R.B. Lindsay

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"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called." ~ Eph. 4:1

Elisabeth Elliot {update from Valerie Elliot Shepard}


Isent an email to Valerie Shepard {Jim & Elisabeth Elliot's daughter} today to get an update on her mother.  So many of you have written me inquiring about our dear Elisabeth. 

Here's what Valerie has said that I can share with you all—my dear friends:


Our family has 3 sisters (our daughters) getting married this summer! One in June, one in July, and one in Sept!! We are very thankful for each new fiance and see how God has given them to our girls. We are continuing to plant Christ Coastal Church here in Southport, and we're thankful for the Lord blessing us with a faithful few. Would appreciate prayers for God to increase our number and for us to find another facility to rent (we meet in our living rm. now) and for God to send at least 2 other couples who are committed to our vision- that of reaching un-churched people here in Brunswick County. Theo is planning on going to a Christian college in the fall, not sure which yet. Sarah has one more year of high school in a very godless high school, but her faith is growing and one of her friends just became a Christian, with whom I do some discipling. Praise God for that!

Pray for Lars and my mother, that God will give each of them strength and joy, and that Lars will find someone who can replace ... { sorry dear friends, I omitted the name for privacy purposes} and really know how to help my mother. Blessings to every one who is praying for them. We ALL appreciate any prayers you ask God for them! Val

Let's continue to keep our dear Elisabeth, Lars, and Valerie in our prayers.  So many of us have been blessed by the kindness of them sharing Elisabeth with us.

Also let's keep Valerie, Walt, the churchc and the kids in our prayers.  They have a lot on their plate.

Thank you so kindly for caring about Elisabeth & inquiring.  I will do my best to keep you updated.

Never forget— "You are loved with an everlasting love and underneath are the Everlasting Arms."

Valerie Elliot Shepard (Jim & Elisabeth Elliot's daughter)

The road I must walk

It's early morning hours, 3 am.  The house is still.  I rare back on the couch with Bible, blanket, yellow note-pad, and pen.  Penning words from today's reflections. 

Gift recordings were hard today.  So much is going on in the heart & mind.  Seems like the day was a continueous bending of the knee-heart crying out.

"All is grace," right?  That's what I think to myself. 
Then I answer, "Yeah...yeah.  It is.  It's all grace.  God grace, no matter what."

I saw God's grace filled hands, today, felt their touch.  Accepting what my heavenly Father hands offer today is bitter—sour even.  I had to grimace just to get a little of what He offered down...deep down.  This: the accepting what His hand dishes out.  This isn't the cup I wanted to drink from.  I know, though hard, that this is the cup much needed.  I must drink and learn.  He and I have been down this road before.  All other times I hand the cup back to Him.  Some of us learn the hard way.  Even still He loves.  He allows the wayward daughter to go away and come back again.  Upon my return He says, "Here daughter, drink."

I do try, but it is still much too bitter, so I spit it out.  I struggle, become angry with self 'cause like Him, I know.  I need this cup.  I must drink the contents...find a way to get them to stay down.  It's the only way for me to get to the other side.  The side He wants me on.  This...this right here is the hard gratitude: giving of thanks.  I struggle more.  With doing right and wrong...good versus feeling bad.  Sometimes...what the hand of our Father offers us—His children is tough.  Denying the self, taking up the cross.  That's tough.  It hurts.  Like Him on the way to be bruised and broken I fall from the weight, the heavy weight of the cross.  I'm weak broken and bruised...beaten up.



"Why didn't you protect me more Lord?"  I ask my Father.  I wished you would have protected me from the venomous...vicious attacks from others.  He shows me that He did.  He shows me that He has given me His grace to walk through, to endeavor and go through.  Unlike me, my Father knows what I need and just how to hand it out.  So He prunes my heart real good—His way.  "Ouch."  I cry.  I'm in pain.  "It hurts Father to walk down your road."

I'm reminded of "One thousand gifts: A dare to live fully right where I am."  In it Ann Voskamp words ring truth to my soul.

"Joy and pain, they are but two arteries of the one heart that pumps through all those who don't numb {oh, how, I want to numb.  I want numbing really bad} themselves to really living." ~ emphasis added

And this pain?  Well, God is carrying me through.  I know it is a good thing.  It's just the waiting on the emotions to catch up to the truth...to accept.  Even now, in this, I learn that "All is grace."



I thank Him for this gift of grace today.  That's my gratitude for today. The walking me through the pain to be sure that I live life fully right here, right where I am.










"Here dies another day
During which I have had eyes, ears, hands
And the great world round me;
And with tomorrow begins another.
Why am I allowed two?" ~ G.K. Chesterton's


Items in post:

Framed Canvas:  The Lord's Supper

Road to the cross

Grace tile

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another great reminder for me.  archives repost. 

 

What is fear, really?

`A
ll fear is but the notion that God's love ends.  Did you think I end, that My bread warehouses are limited, that I will not be enough?  But I am infinite, child.  What can end in Me?  Can life end in Me?  Can happiness?  Or peace?  Or anything you need?  Doesn't your Father always give you what you need?  I am the Bread of Life and My bread for you will never end.  Fear thinks God is finite and fear believes that there is not going to be enough and hasn't counting one thousand gifts, endlessly counting gifts, exposed the lie at the heart of all fear?  In Me, blessings never end because My love for you never ends.  If My goodnesses toward you end, I will cease to exist, child.  As long as there is a God in heaven there is grace on earth and I am the spilling God of the uncontainable, forever-overflowing-love-grace."

~ an excerpt from, "One thousand gifts: A dare to live fully right where you are."

Soul glances

Ipressed "publish post," and "Where hides the joy of the Lord" is published.  Still there is a gnawing sensation in the depths of my soul.  All is not as it should be.

I reflect on my own written words about "giving thanks" and I reflect on words of Ann Voskamp.  I ponder hard and give much thought.  I bow and utter more words to Him who understands.  Still soul flame flickers much.  Wicker is damp...flame continues to burn out.

Though I don't want to, I do the next thing while continuing to bow the soul and utter thanksgiving.  Still, the countenance isn't right.  A battle brews within.  Nevertheless, I continue the mind-chant, "eucharisteo always proceeds the miracle!"



Finally, the miracle came!  It was after I'd made the Spanish rice to accompany the refried beans and the tacos.  I was tired and grabbed my Bible, headed to the backyard for more chants of the heart.  I'd been reading Colossians all day, Sunday and Monday.  This time when I read this verse...a verse I'd just read numerous times that the flame grabbed strong.  The wicker and flame ignited strong and the heart spilled forth pure joy and heart praise.

Beyond all these things put on love, which is the prefect bond of unity.  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts to which indeed you were called in one body, and be thankful.  Let the Word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.  Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. ~ Colossians 3:14-17
I reflect hard on the insight that God has just given me and I am changed.  I feel anxiety leave...flow away.  My body relaxes and I sigh.  Exhale big.  So thankful to be changed in that moment.  "The unexamined life is not worth living." ~ Socrates

The crux of the matter was simple.  First, I had stopped giving thanks.  I'd become too busy. And secondly, I'd stopped seeking things above, which means I opened myself up to forfeiting my peace.    My mind was no longer set on God's agenda, but on my own.  Instead of keeping a steadfast eye on God, I'd glanced over at "Tom" "Dick" and "Harry," and from where I was standing their grass seemed a lot more plush and greener than mine.  Eyes taken off Jesus will always cause us to sink.

"And may the Spirit let my blogging allow for simple soul glances." ~ Ann Voskamp

"Where hides the joy of the Lord?"

"Where hides this joy of the Lord?"  That's the question that's been plaguing my mind lately.

God loves me this I know.  But I don't feel it.  I see it, yet I don't see it.  I see things in my life working, yes, but how is it working for my good??? I wonder.  These feelings are the feelings that in times past caused me to travel inward.  Isolate...turn back in search of fullnessI'm hungry and need God's fueling...

I bow the knees time and time again.  I skim through the Scriptures looking for morsels.  I find nuggets, but the soul doesn't seemed touched as it normally is.



I utter these words...these feelings quietly to Him in prayer.  I fight.  I fight the feeling, but eventually it overtakes me and I give in totally to the lie.  Clenching it closely even.  "God is withholding good from me."  I'm totally embarrassed by these thoughts for I know they are not true, yet they seem to have a bit of truth to them.  "Forgive me Lord for these sort of thoughts."

"Where hides this joy of the Lord?"  Have I been robbed of it?  Robbed of the true happiness that being in God brings?  Where is the abundant life that I was promised?  Where is my full life, the one I was told I would have once I accepted Christ?

  • Where are the happy saintly children...the children who have always been homeschooled and had their mother home caring for them?  Where is the bliss?
  • Where is the never ending bliss-filled marriage between two people who are equally yoked?
  • Where am I?  Where are my dreams?  My desires.  Who am I?  Who have I become?
I echo the sentiments of Ann Voskamp when she writes, "What I have, who I am, where I am, what I've got—this simply isn't enough."

Why does God the Father withhold from His child that which she surmises will fully nourish?

In my heart I know this is foolish talk, but it is how I feel.  "How do I live the way I am meant to live when this life is so interrupted with one disappointment after another?"

He whispers softly to the heart:  "Give thanks."

It is then that I remember...take my eyes off me, "Eucharisteo always proceeds the miracle."

I bend and pay homage.  "Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit."

"Where hides the joy of the Lord?" 

The joy of the Lord can be found upon giving our will over to Him...the humbling of the self.  The giving of thanks.  Remember, eucharisteo opens us up to the fullest of life.  Got problems?  Give thanks!



Sometimes we may become stagnate or disillusioned in our faith...seemingly just going through the motions ... feeling empty ... numb.

The first question we must answer when feeling like this is, "are we feeling like this because we've allowed sin to separate us from God?"

The Father wants us close to Him, this I also know.  Just as I know He wants me (and you) to live a fully complete life in Him.

When feelings of disillusion engulf you, or the feeling of stagnation in your faith grabs hold of you, ask God to forgive you of any sin that is present in your life and then ask Him to give you back your joy in Him, and never forget to "give Him thanks."  Ann says that it is impossible to experience two different emotions at the same time.  So when down, give thanks and search for gifts, it is in the focusing on Him that we forget about ourselves, thus finding the joy that only He can give.

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Christa Wells song, How Emptiness Sing.  Inspired by a post written by our own Ann Voskamp.

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The recorded gifts #'s 126 - 139

~ gifts from life situations

~songs

~ preparations

~ the reading of my Bible in bed

~ sitting in the backyard reading—watching trees sway in springs breeze

~ God loving me.  Being faithful to care for me, even though I "get in the way."

~fresh clean, sparkling drinking water

~ This mornings breakfast.  Cooked by the hands of my husband: eggs, toast and sausage.

~a good cup of coffee.

~ The skills of a plumber

~ listening to neighbor in backyard play his electric guitar

~ inhaling spring air

~ sprouting of seeds planted

~ roses blooming









"I am going to escort you"

"Miss Mabel Shaw, one of the first two missionaries sent out to Rhodesia by the London Missionary Society 1915, wrote:

'They told me a lion had been about ... at last I rose to go, and was just about to mount my bicycle when out of one little hut came the old leper headman.  He held a spear between the stumps that once were hands, and he went hobbling along the path in front of me.  I called to him and he stopped and looked around.'


'Where are you going?'

'I am going to escort you to Mbereshi village.  You can't go alone with lions about.'
He would not have it.  It was not fitting for me to go alone.  I looked at him, a feeble old man, handless, feet half eaten, his whole body covered with marks of disease, and his face most pitiful.  I said to him, half-banteringly, and with a smile, 'Now what could you do if a lion came?'

He drew himself up, and with a quiet dignity said, 'Have I not got a life to give?'  I was silent, seeing a cross.  I followed him to the village, thanked him, and came home having met with God face-to-face."

(from God's Candelight, 1943, as quoted from the Elisabeth Elliot Newsletter, July/August 2002)

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Christa Wells song, How Emptiness Sing.  Inspired by a post written by our own Ann Voskamp.

A sluggard, me?

`Go to the ant, o sluggard, observe her ways and be wise, which having no chief, officer or ruler prepares her food in the summer and gathers her provisions in the harvest." ~ Proverbs 6:6

Well!  I must say, "I am a bit offend that the Lord chose to call me a sluggard?"

"No Lord.  I am not a sluggard.  I am a tired woman," is my answer to Him.  I've changed my supplements.   I am anemic.  I am getting older...plus I have Sickle Cell traits which I am told by the doctor can keep one a bit more tired.  This tiredness of mine, though, comes and goes. And I am most assured that it is tied more into my diet of eating the wrong things more than anything else.  My body is a body that doesn't do well without wholefoods and lots and lots of raw veggies and fruits.  Plus I've slacked up on my juicing too.... 


Anyway... these are my excuses when God "shows me myself."
Lazy?  Admittedly we are no ants over here, but sluggard?  I feel as if I am in between.  Actually, it's more like:  I work and work.  I get tired, and I take time to rest. When I surveyed our home this morning, I see where their is mounds of laundry waiting to go into the washing machine.  Dusting has now become imperative, as I told the children yesterday, and I have lots of school work to work on.

I ponder about what God calls me, and I think: okay.  Is this what He's showing me because I am one who when tired... will stop?  I will stop and nap. Surely a more togethered woman would not need naps?  And she would probably manage this home and the day-to-day of it far better than me.

The reality of these thoughts causes the countenance to fall as I search heart and mind, brooding over God's-talk revelation.

"Am I really a slothful person?"

"Do I have trouble getting started?"

"Do I always say to myself, 'I'll do it later?'" 



I give gratitude for the gift of revelation.  The Father's insight.  Honest words.  Grace filled words, and the abounding mercies for today.  I plan today to work (as I plan everyday), but today...today, I will work like the ants—making the most out of my time.

"Dreaming about a thing in order to do it properly is right, but dreaming about when we should be doing it is wrong.  After our Lord had said those wonderful things to His disciples, we might have expected that He would tell them to go away and meditate over them all; but our Lord never allowed "mooning."  When we are getting into contact with God in order to find out what He wants, dreaming is right, but when we are inclined to spend our time in dreaming over what we have been told to do, it is a bad thing and God's blessing is never on it.  God's initiative is always in the nature of a stab against this kind of dreaming, the stab that bids us "neither sit nor stand but go." ~ Oswald Chambers

We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!

Yesterday while checking my email I saw where I had a new Twitter follower.  For some reason I clicked on the ladies profile to read more about her (I don't always do that.  As a matter-of-fact, it's rare for me to do that).  At first I thought she was "trying" to be funny when she said how she put on her make-up etc,  So I clicked on to her blog to see what she was talking about.

After watching her video, I knew that I'd found a new friend.  One who I have the utmost respect for.  And like my husband said while watching her video, "She's a cute girl"  That she is and I am pretty sure that her "cuteness" extends way beyond on her "outer" look.

Please be encouraged by Sarah and stop by her place to let her know.



"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." ~ Philippians 4:13

The sufferings of Christ: a predetermined plan

Every Wednesday I participate in community over at Ann Voskamps A Holy Experience, where we share a spiritual practice that draws us closer to God, allowing us to walk with Him. 

Today's post won't be a "spiritual practice" about what we are doing for Easter per se, but instead I chose to focus on "The suffering's of Christ" giving gratitude and attention to what took place leading to His death by bowing the head and knees—hourly in recognition to these sufferings on my behalf.  I'm choosing to take the time to learn about the physical and spiritual sufferings and to share them...testify.



I pray that the introduction to the sufferings of Christ will cause you to pause Give gratitude.  Put skin on holy words realizing what Jesus allowed to happen only because He loves you and me.  
The torture of Jesus is cruel, inhumane, and disturbing, but I've chosen to learn about it and walk through the agonizing, bone-chilling, stomach tightening, hours of such a suffering so that I may learn from it.  Learn to appreciate to the depth of my capacity, the depth of God's love for me.


Jesus' death was totally and completed unwarranted—unecessary, but it was predetermined by God... so it is important that we remember when reading accounts of the beatings leading up to the crucifixion itself the words He spoke: "No one has taken it away from Me, but I lay it down on My own initiative.  I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again.  This commandment I received from my Father."

That truth is something I've had to remember and grasp close as the horrific details of a death so unjustified,  causes one to seethe with anger.  In the details leading up to the crucifixion we can clearly see our depravity, and His love.  Love that has no depth.  Remember all that suffering... all that shame was taken on by Christ for our sake.  Period.  He suffered so that we wouldn't have to.



In keeping with Roman custom—Pilate ordered that Jesus be scourged (Matt. 27: 26; Mark 15:15).  Two kinds of scourging were administered back then: Jewish and Roman.  Jewish laws were more specific than that of the Romans.  The Jewish law stated that a victim could not receive more than 40 lashes (Deut. 25: 1-3).  Roman law, on the other hand, wasn't as human.  They had a man trained in torture called a lictor, administered their scourging.

"Crucifixion was prefaced by scourging, either on the way to the cross or before the victim began the trip to the cross.  Tied to a post, the condemned person would be beaten with the flagellum: a leather whip with metal knotted into thongs.  This whipping bloodied the victim's back, leaving strips of flesh hanging from the wounds.  By weakening the victims constitution, it would mercifully shorten the time it would take the condemned person to die on the cross."

In the Journal of the American Medical Association, a team of medical and theological professionals describe the torture in detail:

" As the Roman soldiers repeatedly struck the victim's back with full force, the iron balls would cause deep contusions, and the leather thongs and sheep bones would cut in the skin and subcutaneous tissues.  then as flogging continued, the lacerations would tear into underlying skeletal muscles and produce quivering ribbons of bleeding flesh.  Pain and blood loss generally set the stage for circulatory shock.  The extent of blood loss may well have determined how long the victim would survive on the cross ...

The server scourging with its intense pain and surmountable blood loss, most probably left Jesus in a preshock state.  Moreover, hematirosis had rendered His skin particularly tender.  the physical and mental abuse meted out by the Jews and the Romans, as well as the lack of food, water, and sleep, also contributed to His generally weaken state.  Therefore, even before the actual crucifixion, Jesus' physical condition was at least serious and possibly critical."

As if pain from intense physical torture were not enough, Jesus also endured the emotional pain of cruel humiliation.

"From all of Scripture it is imperative that we remember that Christ was not murdered in an abrupt act of passion.  His death was part of God's eternal plan for our redemption."

The route that's best for you

`All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I read that quote and pondered on its meaning while folding warm towels in my quiet room.  Lights were dimmed, candles burned...fragrances were taken in and I was at peace to do more mind-travels.  This time my minds eye took me back to an illustration that I once heard a pastor give.

A child was up high on a sliding board, when he became frightened.  He would not come down, nor would he turn around and go back the same way he came up.  He felt stuck.  Stilled.

"Jump," said the father of the little boy.  I will catch you.

"No," said the child.

This went on for a few seconds, and then the little boy jumped.  Landing into the arms of his loving father. 

What the child had in his father is what many of us adults lack in our heavenly Father:  Trust.  How did such trust come to flourish in the child to the point where he finally mustered up the courage to jump?  It was the past experiences with his father that assured the youngster that his father could be trusted enough to catch him.

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is found in Exodus.  "Now when Pharaoh had let the people go, God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, even though ti was near; for God said, 'The people might change their minds when they see war and return to Egypt.' Hence God led the people around by the way of the wilderness to the Red Sea. ..."



Who led the people, God's beloved people "by way of the wilderness?"

God did.

God took His people and He led them "by the way of the wilderness."

God did this to calm the fear of His children.  The Father did not want His children scared to the point that they would want to go back.  So He led them through barren territory.  A lifeless area.

Did the Father lead His children through barren country because His hand is unloving, uncaring, unkind, harsh, filled with meanness?  No.  Like the loving father of the little lad, He provided another route for His children so not to bring more anguish upon them.  Therefore, the solution was for Him...FOR HIM TO LEAD them, and sometimes He leads us through barren...lifeless situations known as "the wilderness."



Remember Jesus, the Son in whom He was well pleased ... the Son who was found so despicable on the cross that the loving God turned His back on Him.  But now, this same Jesus sits a the right hand of the throned with His beloved Father.

Let us remember that though some seasons are barren and lifeless in our lives.  We serve Him who is the Life.  And though we travel rough, rocky roads at times, God never leads us to travel these rough roads alone. 

Just like He was right there beside His children leading and guiding them through a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night through their wilderness, and the father of the lad stood beside him with arms of love open ready to catch his child.  We can rest in trusting that our Father, God, will not always lead us through the shortest path of our experiences, but He will lead us and He will lead us to where it is He wants us to go and we can trust that whatever journey we take, He will be along side of us ...traveling with us.  Taking us on a route that's best for us.

Is this heaven's work?

I'am tired.  My back hurts, neck aches, and I want to get back in bed, but I can't.  There's too much that needs to be tackled in the house today. I've been staying up late into the early mornings.  Not for writing, though, sometimes I try and use my time wisely and concentrate on that task.  No, I'm up late now, mostly waiting for my husband.  Remember he and a friend just opened the restaurant...eatery?

  Being up late like this with house quiet and no one to talk to causes a mind to travel-think.  And I began to travel, think about what I am doing with myself...my life's work.

Cleaning, cooking, refereeing, chauffeuring, encouraging, respecting, loving... all my responsibilities to my family.  This is my high calling service to God. It is my first responsibility—even before writing.   It is: heaven's work.  And I'm proud to be one called to this service.  Being a stay-at-home mother and wife who home schools is no easy task.  Being a woman who stays home period is not work for the faint-of-heart...or for someone who constantly needs accolades "praise" for work well done.  Most of the time a mother who stays home work isn't noticed until she "doesn't" do it. 





This work of scrubbing toilets, pots & pans, cooking, doing laundry, teaching  children, writing, and ... is a ministry.  It's a ministry that we women can do wholeheartedly—making it become our work for heaven...God's work.  What makes the difference of it being heavens work or not being heaven's work is the position of our heart.  The hearts attitude.

We must remember that in order for us to have a heart attitude of "yes" toward God, we must allow ourselves to stay pliable and allow Him to mold us as He sees fit for His work and His service.  Regardless of the pain that is caused to our self-esteem, and other areas of our life.  We must remember that the turning of the ugly into beautiful means we must let the Potter mold us.  Shape us.  We must go low in order to get high.








Today focus on one of your greatest gifts from God's hand: the servanthood to your family.  That's our most precious of gifts.  It's a gift that teaches us to give of ourselves...to get low like Jesus.  Being a woman who stays home is the humbling work.  The work where you put others before yourself knowing there's a great possibility that you may never get recognized for doing so.  Not on this side of heaven anyway.  

Sometimes stress and energy will seem easier to grasp and hold on to than to muster up the strength to continue in our high calling, but He has already given us what we need to continue in this service.

You would be very ashamed if you knew what the experiences you call setbacks, upheavals, pointless disturbances, and tedious annoyances really are.  You would realize that your complaints about them are nothing more nor less than blasphemies—thought that never occurs to you.  Nothing happens to you except by the will of God and yet {God's} beloved children curse it because they do not know it for what it is. ~ Caussade { taken from Ann Voskamps "One thousand gifts: a dare to live fully right where you are."

The gifts #'s 106-125

~ bending of the knee every hour
~ spring days
~ listening to the water fill in the tub
~ the turning of the will
~ aroma of bake chicken
~ writing
~ awakening
~ payday candy bars
~ filling of accomplishment after cleaning
~ taking kids shopping for clothes
~ email from blog readers
~ The Treasury of American Poetry
~ jumping jacks, push-up for the body
~ planting lemon seeds
~ admiring rose bush that was planted by older daughter years ago
~ seeing the fruit of my womb blossom. 
~ sons taller than their Mama
~ listening on others conversation @ Starbucks...man telling his blind date he had "to go home and do laundry."
~ relaxation
~ the settling down of nature come dusk

"Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.  For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.  Then the righteous will answer Him, Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink?  The King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.'" ~ Matthew 25: 34-40




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Being a Christian who doesn't backslide



Yesterday, while driving my son to his basketball game, I was able to rest and reflect while driving.  Believe it or not lots of times that's how I find the time to unwine.

I love Christian radio and yesterday I listened to the late Adrian Rogers.

Adrian said there's three things a Christian can do to be sure they don't backslide.

  1. Spend at least 15 minutes listening to God from His Word. 
  2. Spend at least 15 minutes talking to God through prayer.
  3. Find someone to tell about God everyday
He said the problem come in because usually, though, we sit with Bible open, or we bend the knee often times we don't devote an entire 15 minutes to these things daily.

I do have regular Bible and prayer time, but this morning, I timed myself and spent at least 15 minutes doing the above.  My telling someone about Jesus everyday will surely be me blogging to you, but hopefully...I'm pretty sure God will send someone in my life to disciple.

So try this and let me know how it's working for ya.

Enjoy your weekend!


                                                                                                                 ...a repost from the archives

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