Gateways to Joy

It's 12:30 in the morning, I'm in the bathroom,  I'm fully clothed on the toilet talking to the Lord telling Him how I will not go. It's 2:30 in the morning, I sit on the floor near the toilet... crying, throwing up.  "No Lord.  I won't do it.  I won't go." It's 5:30 in the morning , I lay prostrated on the bathroom floor flailing, crying hard, covering my mouth so no one will hear.   "I am not going Lord!" My husband knocks on the door, "Are you ok?" "Yeah, I'll be out in a minute." It's 9:30 in the morning and there I am.  I feel shame and discuss when I enter the courtroom, embarrassment clothes me.  By the time I take my seat, I'm calmed and am overtaken by a peace.  A peace that surpassed my comprehension.   "I should not be in a place like this."  I think.   "Especially for the reason that I'm here."  I tell myself. The attorney's ask if I'm okay.  Sur...

The questions was asked, "How do I get going early in the mornings?" Steps to rising early : 1.  Set the alarm clock for the same time each morning. 2.  Have the alarm put in a place where you must get out of bed to turn it off. 3.  Don't get back in bed { You will be tempted if this has not become your normal routine } 4.  Visit the bathroom { Get dressed. This makes it harder for you to get back into the bed } 5.  Head for the coffee pot, Bible and so forth { Yes, I do it in that order } 6.   If you fail.  Try again tomorrow.     Remember— Mornings are the most profitable. I think this is the time when we are most energized making it much easier for more things to be done. It takes time to prepare our minds for the day, so rising early gives us the jump start we need. Note:  I try to make sure to have everything that I'll need for the morning ready at night. Just as we don't change all at once, so we don't swallo...

For a few weeks prior to this week past, I started noticing that I felt unbalanced within.  I wasn't calm within.  Something wasn't right. It wasn't until I got up early one morning to pray about how I'd been feeling that it dawned on me that this act that I've done for years ... the early morning rising, is what I was missing.  It was what my soul was hungry for. So one morning, I jotted the below writings in my journal.  Just to share with the Lord.  Today though, I want to share them with you. Rising early gives me more time with the Lord.  My days or slow and productive.  During my morning talks with God, the hushed moments in the house also hushes the heart.  These moments cause a worried, rapid heart to slow.  In the hushed and slowness of mind and body I can focus.  I think and am able to remember. At my kitchen table with nothing but a cup of hot coffee, Bible, pen and tablet I sit with heart and hand prostrated befor...

Y esterday my husband asked me to help him with something.  I did.  After I'd finished he rant & raved about how he knew I could do it and he went on and on singing my praise. I was taken aback a bit by it all, as it didn't seem like much of anything to me.  But it got me to thinking ...  and I began thinking about: being the wife my husband needs rather than being the wife that I want to be, or that I think I should be.   Is there a difference?  After giving thought to my question, I immediately began to pray, "Lord show me how to be the wife that my husband needs." I learned something.  It was something that I'd learned before, but it was also something that I'd forgotten.  "Just as God's ways aren't my ways, neither is my husband way my way.  Just as God has to teach me His ways.  He has to teach me my husband ways.  And just as it is an ongoing process to knowing God's way—something that I will never grasp fully while ...