Gateways to Joy

A s I get older I'm learning that life and close, intimate, relationships can be extremely difficult.  I use the word intimate as these are the relationships where eventually the mask has to come down—giving those closes to you the opportunity to see and learn who you really are.  Regardless of how giving you are in any relationship things can still go awry, causing everyone involved to view the fall of the relationship or disagreement from their perception, thus starts the pointing of fingers. This has been my lot as recently as last month.  Not wanting my pain to be in vain I've gone on a search, looking and longing to learn.  One of my biggest conclusions is simple, even in examining my behavior: "Put no confidence in the flesh."  There is no perfect life; there is no perfect person, and there is no perfect relationship.  Period.  We are all flawed, born in sin shaped in iniquity. Coming to this truth may seem like a "no brainer," but it was...

W eekend rest, I doubt if you're in an area that is having beautiful weather, this weekend, you'll be one to stay inside (your home anyway).  Rest is what I wish for you this weekend, even if you find that rest by doing... moving, being away from your home.  Maybe this weekend will find you taking: ~ a stroll ... ~ reading a book ... ~ going out to eat ... Whatever your hands find to do this weekend—don't forget to see the beauty in your life.  The beauty around you.  The gifts.  His gifts.  Count them. Thank Him for them.  Thank Him for life, the breathing—inhaling, exhaling.  Pay attention to your surroundings, the smiles, the laughter, the joy, the peace, the sun or the snow, your love one, fellowship, solitude. Let His beauty & grace be a reflection of what you display, and as Ann Voskamp says, "Dare to live fully right where you are." "Come, rest awhile, and let us idly stray In glimmering vall...

A s  some of you know if you read my post yesterday, I was suffering from, "the sin of ingratitude."   After pondering on my life's work, I decided that I wasn't where I wanted to be, and what I've done and accomplished just isn't enough.  Somewhere along the way in my journey called "living" I realized that I'd let my life be "interrupted."  Or had I? "Why Lord?" Why haven't you allowed me to accomplish ...? Wallowing just isn't my thing (anymore) so I knew I couldn't stay in that frame of mind. Although I sort of felt like I was right?  Why did everything always seem to come so hard for me?  Why did I have to struggle—fight and plea for my portion?  Why? "Don't wallow Ang.  Don't do it"... I couldn't focus on the lie and allow it to consume me.  I had to fight and fight hard because my mind told me, "I had a "right" to be angry, and that I was right"  An internal...

H e loves me right?  I don't feel loved.  I wonder:  Why are things so hard for me?  Why can't I have a few of my heart desires?  Sure, He cares for my basic needs:  food, shelter and clothing, but can't I have just a little more?  Can't I see what the other side is like?  You know over there.  Can't I have a few of the things that ... has? "Lord forgive me for a heart so ungrateful and foolish.  I don't mean to be.  I just want more and wonder why I can't have it?" Am I simply meant to be a wife, mother who homeschools, and blog?   Just be a keeper of the house, clean and take care of the laundry, cook ...?  Be the one to point others in the right direction?  I love it, don't get me wrong.  I just want more.  I think. Is that bad— me wanting more?  Is it too late for me—have I become to old?  After all I'll be 45 in May.  Are all my dreams and goals just that?  A th...

T his week has brought some surprising developments as it pertains to my husband and my blog.  He's been visiting everyday.  This week he's been a DIHH (do it himself husband).   Get this: not only has he visited, but he's been coming back sharing how MY WRITING is helping him SPIRITUALLY!  This is BIG sisters!  What a blessing!  His praise of my blog and writing has meant so much to me.  It's reeled me in some more y'all. Experiencing that got me to thinking about today's topic post: The practice of marriage.  Praise and interest in what our spouse is doing  seems fitting for discussion today. Taking an interest in the things our spouse is involved in or in things that are important to them sends a message way better than just the proclamation that comes from our mouth.  Doing—putting forth an effort to do says,  "I love you."   Doing is our proclamation in action....

T oday is Tuesday—  word day!  The word that I've been thinking about lately is: yoke .  Yoke as it is referred to in the Bible.  In the Bible the word "yoke" speaks of a wooden bar or a wooden apparatus that is placed over the necks of oxen and other pulling animals which connects them and enables them to pull carts, plows and so on —as seen in the pictures below.  You can also see the ox pulling the brick with the yoke. Often times we will read where Jesus has used the word "yoke" as a metaphor for describing the union between us—people and our labor of service .  I thought about this word as I lay restless in my bed trying to go to sleep Sunday night.  Why?  Fear had crept up...  a slew of worries and fear were upon me.  One scary scenario after another plagued my mind.  For those of you who read Ann Voskamp book, you know when she talks about the fear of the big "C" word, cancer?  Gosh how I can...

G ive Him thanks! Giving thanks for all things is making a tremendous difference in my life. I wrote this article sometime ago, way before I learned about Ann Voskamp's blog: A Holy Experience and her Gratitude Community.  Maybe, now, some of you understand why I'm so drawn to her.  She speaks my heart—my language, and she has a lot of kids just like me! I thank God for giving me the opportunity to blog and to share with you my heart-felt and most convicting thoughts.  One thing that has really drawn me to participate in this Gratitude Community  is that as I go about visiting your blogs I see a lot of me in you.  We are like minded you and me.  I'm beginning to think of you all as friends—my "kinfolk."  Realizing this makes me feel comfortable, and relax in your midst, ready to share. Today, I share a piece of my heart with you, and I thank you in advance for allowing me to be so...

T oday we're going to look at part 2, of the video Beyond The Gates of Splendor . I hope you were blessed, last week, by the story of the five missionary men who gave their lives for their faith.  It is my hope, too, that you were inspired to make your ordinary life an (extra) ordinary life—just by doing whatever it is He's called you to. Wherever you are—yes, wherever,be all there and let Him work through you. These men and their families were no different from you and me.  If there is a difference, the only difference is they were obedient where some of us may not be.  I don't know.  What I do know is just like God used these men to impact lives in their time and season, He means for us to do the same.  And who knows 40 plus years later...someone may be reading or writing your story.  Sharing how you in your "ordinary" way impacted them extraordinary.  Remember— "What makes our labor holy, what makes it eternal...

    I  believe in purposefully emphasizing plant based food in my diet and the diet of my family.  One way I do that is by choosing a spectrum of color for our diets daily...this can become monotonous if I'm not careful.  I'll share with you as we progress into these post how I handle that. The important thing that I try to remember is to be sure to get the variety of color in my diet daily by eating fresh fruit and vegetables. Eat them raw.  Eat them steamed.  The Benefits: Kale is helpful in lowering cholesterol when cooked by steaming.  Raw is effective, too, but not as effective for that particular benefit.  The fiber in this green beauty are good at binding together with bile acids in the digestive tract.  It has been said that the Isothiocyana (ITC's) are have benefits in lowering at least five different kinds of cancer such as bladder, breast, colon, ovary, and prostate. I'm not a doctor so I don't know, but I can sa...

T his past month I seem to have been drawn and have parked myself over in Exodus.  One thing out of many have caused me to slow down and take long moments of pause.  One verse has really kept me up late at night, and I've been dwelling on it throughout my days.  That verse reads: "Now when Pharaoh had let the people go, God did not lead them by the way of land of the Philistines, even though it was near; for God said, 'The people might change their minds when they see war, and return to Egypt."Hence God led the people around by the way of the wilderness to the Red Sea ..." ~ Ex. 13 18, NASB In this situation the wilderness was a blessing to Israel.  And if you're in the wilderness right now—be careful how you respond because you just may be in the middle of your blessing. In thinking about this passage it reminded me about an experience I went through some years ago when my husband and I purchased some land.  We'd moved out of our apartment i...

I wasn't going to participate in this:  writing about "The practice of marriage." as Ann asked.  Why?  It's too hard.  There are so many hurts that run deep.  But after sitting back thinking, I've come to realize, as I always realize:  My husband is my friend.  My best friend. We've struggled a lot along the way, and even after 20 years it seems like we still struggle.  It does seem as if it is a little easier now, oppose to when we first began our journey.  Even though times aren't perfect I can also say that, "I can't imagine my life without him."  The man I began dating at 16. What helps me?  Remembering what Ann always says: "All is grace." God bestows grace on us...our marriage, our family.  My husband bestows grace on me, and I on him, and we keep moving.  Keep breathing.  Keep trying to work it out and figure out how to be a success in this thing called marriage and family.  We...

"W hen there is deep misunderstanding which has led to the erection of barriers between two who once were close, every day brings the strengthening of those barriers if they are not, by God's grace, breached.  One prays and finds no way at all to break through.  Love seems to "backfire" every time.  Explanations become impossible.  New accusations arise, it seems, from nowhere {though it is well to recall who is named the Accuser of the brethren}.  The situation becomes ever more complex and insoluble, and the mind goes round and round, seeking the place where things went wrong, brooding over the words which were like daggers, regretting the failures and mistakes, wondering {most painfully} how it could have been different.  Much spiritual and emotional energy is drained in this way—but the Lord wants to teach us to commit, trust, and rest. "Leave him to me this afternoon, is what his word is.  There is nothing else that I am asking of you this ...

Y esterday we shared our gratitude list...counting to our one thousand gifts.   Today is Tuesday, which means we will talk about our "words" and how we use them. Our words, our utterances, are used to convey messages in our spoken or written language.  For example: the Word of God.  God's written Word.  His language to mankind conveys various messages some being: How the world & its contents came about What His plan was & is for us How we're to live The consequences of living or not living as He wants and so forth In His written Word we learn that "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." ~ Proverbs 15:1 In my personal experiences I've seen arguments dissipate right in front of me when I chose to speak gentle words and use a gentle manner.  However, I've also seen the opposite happen when I chose harsher words. I purposely say, "chose" because our word choice is simply that: our choice.  We ...

I t's dark out. Quite in here.  The only sound I hear is the refrigerator humming and my fingers hitting the keys on the computer.  Early morning...late nights—I adore them.  It is in these moments that I am able to reflect on the day gone by... I thank Him for the gifts. One of my greatest delights: being able to open His Word to meditate.  Think.  Ponder.  Sit still. My reading comes from the book of Mark: "In the early morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house, and went away to a secluded place and was praying." ~ Mark 1:35 ~ My List # 38 - 50 Thankful for my alone time.  A time to rekindle, refocus and think. Thankful for life ... health & the ability to reflect Thankful for warm beverages A glowing fire lotion after a good bath! early morning rising & late nights. my husbands kindness prayer The duties which fulfill my days. grace Christian radio The ability "to live fully right wher...

T his is one of my most favorite stories—it's tragic and triumph on so many levels.  It's remarkable to see how the lives (and death) of  such (extra) ordinary men and what they lived and died for are still touching the lives of millions world-wide today. If you click on this link, Valerie Elliot Shepard Interview, you can read my interview with Jim Elliot's daughter Valerie and see a few pictures of his grand kids.  Jim (Val's son) resembles his grandfather tremendously. I will post part 2, next Saturday

H ere's a good way we can forfeit (give it away...interrupt) our peace: The hymn says, "O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we don't carry everything to God in prayer." Prayerlessness, is one of the many ways we forfeit the peace of God.  But Elisabeth Elliot has a list of other things that causes us to loose and find our peace: ~ resent God's ways. ~ worry as much as possible ~ pray only about things you can't manage by yourself ~ refuse to accept what God gives ~ look for peace elsewhere than in Him ~ try to rule your own life ~ doubt God's Word ~ carry all your cares How to find your peace ~ Don't worry about anything (Phil 4:6) ~ "In everything make your requests known to God in prayer and petition with thanksgiving .  Then the peace of God ... will guard your hearts." (Phil 4: 6-7) ~ "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me...and you will find rest." (Matt. 11:29) ~ ...

I woke to feelings I'd not had in a while, an overwhelming saddness flooded me! "Oh, boy, what's going on here I thought." My body didn't want to move.  It longed for the security of my blanket: aloneness.  I could hear them, the kids and my husband in the kitchen scrambling around. "Oh gosh—there's so much to do.  Where do I began?" Finally, I rise.  Go to the bathroom, run bath water, brush teeth, wash face, face them— my family.  Then I remember her and her teaching us:   "Do the next thing." "But I don't want to do the next thing."  I want to stay here and wallow, wallow in self-pity or whatever it was I'm feeling. He beckons me to come, bend the knee—but I don't.  I ignore Him.  "Do the next thing," I hear.  I do the next thing and the next thing after that and so on and so forth. "From an old English parsonage, down by the sea There came in the twilight a message to me, Its...

M arriage: a covenant between a man and a woman that binds them together for life.  Today we will discuss, "The Practice of Marriage," as it causes us to Walk Closer to Him.  The practice of marriage is a practice of FULLY and COMPLETELY giving of oneself for the other—even when you may not want to.  It's a life long practice . Marriage teaches us to love the "seemingly" unlovable sometimes.  The same qualities that Christ uses with us—His bridegroom we must use with our spouse, and they with us. It's a union that's only released through death. It's the coming together of two to become one. "It's the worse of times.  It's the best of times ." In the practice of marriage, we laugh and we cry.  We love and we hate.  We learn how flawed and sin-ravished "we" are. On the surface it seems like a most "ordinary" experience, but it is the most HOLY of experiences.  For in marriage we practice: Livin...

T here's nothing like the pain of harsh words coming from a soul that is wrong, and has wronged you, but won't admit to the wrongness: pain. Our words—the utterances that flow out of our mouths... we praise with these utterances, and we lash the soul with these same utterances from the mouth...from the heart. Friendships are built and friendships are torn down by the choice of our words.  Words give us a glance into the soul of the speaker, sometimes a troubled heart is able to hide, seemingly fool with their words, but it's only for a season.  Eventually the true heart and true self give way to truth. His Word tells us ... A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly.  ~ Proverbs 15: 1-3 This week my heart has been broken...shattered into pieces by the harsh words of a friend. I want to fade away, but I don't....

Giving thanks for now...this moment, this time...that's what gratitude looks like to me. I use to think it was about giving a BIG thank you when the extraordinary happened, but I've come to learn that my routine...day-to-day work of: working, writing, schooling my children, cleaning of the house; the cooking of meals, mothering, being his wife and His daughter are all part of my extraordinary work.  And that is where I also find Him...my Father— I AM, in the doing of my calling. It's not just in church where I find Him, or in the reading of His book, or doing "good deeds" ..., no I find Him and the gifts right there in my living out what He has taught me in church, and the reading of His book.  In the midst of me "living" I find Him...I feel Him ... beside me...talking to me...guiding me...teaching me. And that's where I find my joy.  "I find joy in the tarry there." Did you know that gratitude is the key to living a contented (h...