Becoming a better you, through broken relationships

As I get older I'm learning that life and close, intimate, relationships can be extremely difficult.  I use the word intimate as these are the relationships where eventually the mask has to come down—giving those closes to you the opportunity to see and learn who you really are.  Regardless of how giving you are in any relationship things can still go awry, causing everyone involved to view the fall of the relationship or disagreement from their perception, thus starts the pointing of fingers.

This has been my lot as recently as last month.  Not wanting my pain to be in vain I've gone on a search, looking and longing to learn.  One of my biggest conclusions is simple, even in examining my behavior:



"Put no confidence in the flesh."  There is no perfect life; there is no perfect person, and there is no perfect relationship.  Period.  We are all flawed, born in sin shaped in iniquity.

Coming to this truth may seem like a "no brainer," but it wasn't for me.  In fact, it is a monumental lesson and is helping me in several ways.  I've put safeguards in place for myself.  These are practices we can all incorporate into our relationships:

  • Be very careful at labeling people and putting them on pedestals.  Remember they are human too.  Learn to give people the room and freedom to fall, even you.
  • Examine yourself.  Allow God to teach you about you.  There is always something to learn in any kind of relationship, even the so called "bad ones."
  • Ask yourself some of the tough questions: (1) What is God trying to teach me?  (2) What is God trying to teach me about me?  (3) What part did I play? (4) Is this accusation that was brought against me true—even a little? (5) Listen to what the other is saying against you, study your behavior, and more than anything...take responsibility for your own actions.
  • Don't be afraid to speak up.  Be firm, yet loving.  Mean what you say and say what you mean.
There are lessons for all to learn in relationships.  Learn them.  Be one to accept wise counsel even though it may hurt.  Accepting and learning from situations only make us better, and it helps us grow.

"We are fallen creatures and all very hard to live with. ~ C.S. Lewis

The List # 68-74

~ the hurt & pain
~ lessons learned
~ the writing of feelings
~ peace in acceptance
~ growing pains
~ wise counsel
~ God's people

”one

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