This has been my lot as recently as last month. Not wanting my pain to be in vain I've gone on a search, looking and longing to learn. One of my biggest conclusions is simple, even in examining my behavior:
"Put no confidence in the flesh." There is no perfect life; there is no perfect person, and there is no perfect relationship. Period. We are all flawed, born in sin shaped in iniquity.
Coming to this truth may seem like a "no brainer," but it wasn't for me. In fact, it is a monumental lesson and is helping me in several ways. I've put safeguards in place for myself. These are practices we can all incorporate into our relationships:
- Be very careful at labeling people and putting them on pedestals. Remember they are human too. Learn to give people the room and freedom to fall, even you.
- Examine yourself. Allow God to teach you about you. There is always something to learn in any kind of relationship, even the so called "bad ones."
- Ask yourself some of the tough questions: (1) What is God trying to teach me? (2) What is God trying to teach me about me? (3) What part did I play? (4) Is this accusation that was brought against me true—even a little? (5) Listen to what the other is saying against you, study your behavior, and more than anything...take responsibility for your own actions.
- Don't be afraid to speak up. Be firm, yet loving. Mean what you say and say what you mean.
"We are fallen creatures and all very hard to live with. ~ C.S. Lewis
The List # 68-74
~ the hurt & pain
~ lessons learned
~ the writing of feelings
~ peace in acceptance
~ growing pains
~ wise counsel
~ God's people