Gateways to Joy

Y esterday while enjoying a long country drive through long rolling hills ... having good conversation with my husband, and us soaking up the brightly beaming sunshine, my thoughts went to obedience vs. sacrifice.  Ocean of waves rolled through my thoughts on the subject, in between my breaks of talks" Awe, what a nice topic to blog about,"  I thought as I looked far into the horizon... wind hitting my face. Once I was home, immediately upon walking through the door, I saw my 17 year-old son lying on the couch in a peculiar way.   "What's wrong with you? "  I ask him. "I'm weak." "Have you eaten?" " No ma'am,"   he says. Right after those words left his mouth, my 11 year-old daughter called out,  "Mom!  Look at my finger!  I think it's broken." Following her cry, came the lamentation of my two younger daughters Krishtiana 10 and Kennlie seven,   "Mom can we come out of our rooms yet?" Sniffle

T oday is the day.  Today is the day that we memorialize my father.  It's a bitter-sweet day.  I will miss him so.  Still can't believe that this season is upon me.  I want to run and hide—yell at God and say, "No, no!"   But I can't. I must accept all that the hand of my loving heavenly Father gives, though it seems unfair.  Unfair to take a husband away from his wife.  Unfair to take a father away from his daughter.  Unfair to take grandfather away from grandchildren. I'd hoped he would live to see my children, graduate, get married and have children of their own.  But it is not to be. I'd hoped that we would one day travel.  My husband, me and them—my parents. Last night, as I cried silently.  I shared with my husband that I knew it was his heart.  Had suspected it all alone, but why didn't I tell him.  I shared it with my mother, though, I didn't even share with her the extent of how bad it could have been. "Why?"   I

K eeping this close to heart today because sometimes we need a loving nudge to remind us: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.   And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4: 6-7 Seems like an impossible task doesn't it?  We all have worries be it at home, on the job, in school ... but Paul tells us to take our worries and turn them into prayers. How?  How do you turn those worries into prayers?  By praying.  Whatever you are worried about today, let that be the thing that you pray about.  Lean on God with that prayer. What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer. Have we trials and temptations?

I ask you to please take just a few minutes to listen and watch the YouTube video below!  It is so contagious and such a blessing.  I promise you won't regret taking a few  minutes out of your schedule to watch.  I wanted to share this with you this weekend, but decided that the Gratitude Community would be the best place to share it.  After all if anyone knows about   SMILES it is those of us who search for and count gifts.  Joy, gratitude... even anger are all an outward expression of something deeper taking place within. Right? Here's my story: The other day on my way home I heard this song by Kirk Franklin, and have not been able to stop smiling, singing, and humming the words.  I experience pure joy every time this song is played.  My being becomes extremely soothed and my heart is at ease.   I've danced a step or two while singing it and walking around the house.   The first couple of days, the kids looked at me peculiar, but now they've teamed up with me

T oday in the comings and goings of trying to help my mom prepare for the cremation of my father, trying to deal with the day-to-day family life going to and fro, trying to keep some semblance of normalcy, I became tempted to fret and worry. The thing is this: The Lord, knowing me, His daughter, immediately told me upon my father's death Sunday— how not to act.  He does not want me taking the "weight" of the situation on my shoulders.  I felt Him saying. I've shared my personality with you all before.   It is easy for me to become tempted and try to be everyones Savior- "helper."  It is in this process that I usually burn out, and become resentful. Knowing this about myself, I've been working hard these past days at keeping a balance within.   "Be still my daughter and see how the matter will fall."  Is what the ears of my heart hear. Not only do I hear that utterance, but I realize that God wants me to know that He is God and not me

M y heart is sadden as I tap out this post .  This morning about 11:00 AM, my mother called my husband's phone upset.  He gave me the phone and she began—hysterically telling me that something was wrong with my father. "Did you call 911?"   I asked. "I tried, but my phone isn't getting through." "Okay, stay on this phone while I call from my phone."   I told her So I called 911.  When I got the operator on the phone I realized that I am in a different county, so I had to be transferred at least three times. While explaining to the 911 operator what was going on, my mother was giving me the status of what was going on with my father.  "His breathing is slowing down."   "His eyes are rolling in the back of his head."  "He's not breathing." "Why me Lord" I ask?  These are details that I don't care to know or remember.  But this is the place where you have me at this moment.  "Stay

Y esterday a friend and I discussed the highs and lows of our quiet time and our Christian walk over the phone.  We meet like this regularly just to lend support and encouragement to each other— an ear.  "Oh and how are you doing?"  She asked With much attitude, and wanting her to pick up on it so that she would back-off I said, "Fine.  I'm fine." I knew she wasn't really asking about my well-being, but rather about a specific situation that I am going through. "Um-hum."  She replied. "Okay, ok.  I'll tell you the truth!  My quiet time is going great!  God and I are having good conversations ... the intimacy is really good ... but my mind still tries to take me back.  It keeps wanting to drudge up all of those old memories and thoughts." She had sooo much to say.  I sat and listened. After a while though, my mind began to drift to the book of Romans and the conflict of our two natures . Later that evening when I got

F orgiveness. Nothing is more foreign to sinful human nature.  And nothing is more     characteristic of divine grace. Fallen humanity finds God's forgiveness terribly hard to understand .  As individual sinners, we all know firsthand what a struggle it can be to forgive others who have wronged us.  Some people therefore find it impossible to envision Almighty God as anything other than stern and unforgiving.  Others, knowing that Scripture teaches us God is merciful, imagine that He is so completely indulgent that no sinner really has anything to fear.  Both misconceptions are fatally wrong concerning divine forgiveness. Compounding that problem, our attitude toward forgiveness tends to vary, depending on which side of the equation we look at . When we are on the receiving end of mercy, we naturally esteem forgiveness as one of the highest of all virtues.   But when we are the aggrieved party, forgiveness often seems a gross violation of justice! And yet, all would no do

G etting good at life.  Isn't that a commonality among us all?  We all want to become better at the life we're living.  About a week ago, I signed up to host a blog talk radio program: Gateways.  After I finished signing up I browsed around the blog talk site for a while, and came across a picture that caught my attention.  "Wow that's a pretty lady,"  I thought and "what a gorgeous smile. The next thing to catch my eye on the picture were the words,  "Getting Good At Life," hosted by Dr. Carolyn.   "Is that Dr. Carolyn, I asked myself or is that a model?" I wanted to hear her, but I didn't want to waste my time listening to anything boring.  "Should I chance it?" I asked.  I began to scroll through her archives, when immediately I saw where the last show dealt with codependency.  It was actually the second show on codependency that I was about to listen to. "Whoa!"  I thought.  Seeing the word codependency ja

Y esterday my husband asked me to help him with something.  I did.  After I'd finished he rant & raved about how he knew I could do it and he went on and on singing my praise. I was taken aback a bit by it all, as it didn't seem like much of anything to me.  But it got me to thinking ...  and I began thinking about: being the wife my husband needs rather than being the wife that I want to be, or that I think I should be.   Is there a difference?  After giving thought to my question, I immediately began to pray, "Lord show me how to be the wife that my husband needs." I learned something.  It was something that I'd learned before, but it was also something that I'd forgotten.  "Just as God's ways aren't my ways, neither is my husband way my way.  Just as God has to teach me His ways.  He has to teach me my husband ways.  And just as it is an ongoing process to knowing God's way—something that I will never grasp fully while here on ear

One of my favorite bloggers—writers is Ann Voskamp.  She is one of the most poetic, talented & creative person that I've come across in a while.  I appreciate dearly the giving of herself to God and to us through her writing. Ann inspires me to want to do better ... to be better.     This is one of Ann's poems— A prayer for writers God of the Word, we ask you — Give us a Word. Your daughters are hungry. We are women of the Word, Wielding words You take around the world. Weave the curve of our letters on screens into baskets , baskets heavy with that which deeply, fully fills. Weave the curve of our letters into baskets that offer up the only food that satisfies… You. May you meet us, your Word women, such women, at a time such as this, and reveal to us Your will for our words… We long not to be not to be recognized or lauded or discovered… We long for simply this to glorify your name, and spread your praise and you honor and your fame.  Make u

Today—Saturday was busy for me.  My husband and I got up and took our oldest daughter {16} to the bank to cash her first ever "pay check."  This was very exciting for me.  You mothers can relate to that I'm sure.  The first anything—a good anything anyway, with our children is a celebration!   So I made a big deal out of that.  After we left the bank we came home for her to get ready for work. When I got back home I had to turn right around and leave again.  My three son's had haircut appointments.  So I rushed and got them over there, late. Once we got back home I was elated to know that I didn't have anything to do for a few hours—finally we could get some cleaning done!  And that's what we did, the kids and we started to clean. I told my oldest son to get the lawn mower and start on the grass.  The girls had to get their room clean.  And the other two boys were in their room cleaning.  I had  the boys who were cleaning their room, move dressers, desk

"B e still my daughter and see how the matter will fall." ~ Ruth 3:18 That is one of my very favorite passages in the Bible.  Wise words.  Are you in your waiting season?   How are you handling your wait?   What is your internal temperature?  Just as God was orchestrating the life of Ruth while she waited, He is orchestrating ... planting the seeds ... tilling the soil of our lives— preparing us in our season of wait.  Just because we are to sit still doesn't mean God is sitting still .  We can trust that He is in the back-drop of our lives working it all out for our good.  Bringing forth a harvest in its seaon. "At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." ~ Galatians 6:9

Y eah, we're back online!  Blogger has had some major issues since yesterday evening, and we ... those who blog using Blogger were unable to get to our Dashboard.  I'm not going to complain, though.  I was happy that they kept the post in "reader" mode for you all. Technical glitches is a part of  a bloggers life.  Moving on— Ladies, we need those close relationships don't we?  We all have at least one person, I hope, that we can be transparent with.  That person who knows the real deal us.  Our relationships are there to help us move toward growth and maturity.  I have to think on that often when dealing with some of my "complicated" friendships.  "Love them in spite of."  I whisper.  The hard ones ... the ones that I love, yet have to fight so hard for are the ones that I can now see are the ones that move me closer to Christian maturity.  And they help me understand ... just a little on the magnitude of God's love for me. Rela

"W hy?"  That is the question many of us ask the Lord when we feel He is taking us down troublesome paths.  Some people think asking God "Why" is wrong.  I don't believe that.  I believe that just as my children have the freedom to talk to me and ask me whatever question they want {so long as it's done in a respectable manner} God has given us that same right. The next question becomes, "Will He answer every why?"   No.  For whatever reason He chooses— God will not answer all of our "whys" -- at least not on this side of heaven. We just have to trust and obey.   Trust that He knows what's best for us, and obey the way He shows us to go.  Believing that His plan is the best plan for our lives. The same way the young peasant girl who found herself with child trusted.  You and I have trust, believing that the Father loves us so much that He not only knows what is best for us, but that He longs to give us the very best.   And just