The conflict of our two natures

Yesterday a friend and I discussed the highs and lows of our quiet time and our Christian walk over the phone.  We meet like this regularly just to lend support and encouragement to each other— an ear. 

"Oh and how are you doing?"  She asked

With much attitude, and wanting her to pick up on it so that she would back-off I said, "Fine.  I'm fine."

I knew she wasn't really asking about my well-being, but rather about a specific situation that I am going through.

"Um-hum."  She replied.

"Okay, ok.  I'll tell you the truth!  My quiet time is going great!  God and I are having good conversations ... the intimacy is really good ... but my mind still tries to take me back.  It keeps wanting to drudge up all of those old memories and thoughts."

She had sooo much to say.  I sat and listened.

After a while though, my mind began to drift to the book of Romans and the conflict of our two natures.

Later that evening when I got home I ran to my Bible, sat and began reading Romans 7—particularly concentrating on verses 14 on.

"Yes.  That's exactly what I am experiencing Lord."  I whisper after feeding.

I stayed in that place with Him for a while.  Trying to hone in on how I was feeling.  What the Lord was saying.  Wondering why I'm starting to feel like this ... wondering why?  Why?  Why?

In my mind, I don't want to feel like this.  My heart doesn't want me feeling like this either, but I do.  I do feel like this... .

"I'm struggling here Lord. Help.  I don't want to go back Lord.  I want you more."  It ceases.  The seas of my struggle ceased.  My insides became placid for that moment.

Paul shares three lessons that he learned in trying to deal with his old sinful desires.

• Knowledge is not the answer. (7:9).  Paul felt fine as long as he did not understand what the Law demanded.  When he learned the truth, he knew he was doomed.
• Self-determination {struggling in one's own strength} doesn't succeed.  (7:15).  Paul found himself sinning in ways that weren't even attractive to him.
• Becoming a Christian doesn't stamp out all sin and temptation from a person's life (7:22-25).

 ~ NASB, Concordance

"Being born again only takes a moment of faith.  Becoming like Christ is a lifelong process."