A mother tries to teach her daughter to see through new lenses

She's upset.  On her way to work she sits on the passenger side, quiet.  I almost didn't spy her sadness ... her needing comfort as I was on the cell phone comforting a friend. "But God spoke to my heart." The first thing He showed me was that I was on the phone while driving—something I try to never make a habit of doing.  Then I heard her awkward silence.

"Let me call you back."  I say to my troubled friend.

"What's wrong?"  I ask my daughter as I glance down to be sure I'm clicking on the right button to end my phone call.


I suspect she's upset 'cause I made her assist with the cleaning of the living room before going to work, but that's not the only reason.

I scolded her hard in front of everyone when I saw the "ugly" in her heart.  I scolded in front of all because she displayed "ugly"in front of all ... made her stance very obvious.  I did it, too, so that the others would see their fate if they decided to attempt to walk down this path.

"Look you better change your attitude right now!" I said with a stern tone and look that screamed volumes to all who gazed.

If I'm honest with myself I will freely admit that my feelings had been hurt by her countenance too.

You see, she didn't know at the time my reasons for allowing her to sleep later than the other children: I realize she's on her feet at least six hours a day sometimes.  Therefore, she's tired and needs more rest physically and mentally so she's allowed to sleep more and take it easy a bit more now.

She didn't know that when it is her week to do dishes all of us had been keeping the kitchen clean, meaning she has only been washing the dinner dishes—she hadn't even noticed.

She had not realized that I let her sit outside after she gets home from work so that she can socialize and unwind a bit.

She didn't notice that the time that I gave her by taking her to work was time that she took from her father, her siblings and me.  Her job cost all of us.  It put a strain on all of our schedules.  We've had to constantly change our plans this summer due to her work schedule... we've turned down many family invitations.    Nor had she calculated the money that her Dad was spending to just fill the SUV with gas so that she could get to and from work and all of the places she wanted to go in between.

I tell my child, "I know you didn't mess up in the living room, but we needed your help.  A help that we should not have had to solicit.  

We are a family.  When we need your help, you should willingly come, period.  

Do you know that as your mother, there isn't a "law" of man's or God's that says, 'I must take you to work?'

Everyday nearly, your Dad or I get up early or stay up late so that we can take you to and fro.  Your only responsibility is to give a 10 percent offering in church, and put 10 percent in savings and be happy.  Have fun.  Enjoy this season—this new experience in your life, and help with the house work... help not "do all by yourself."

Why do we do this? Why do your siblings pitch in to take up your slack?  Why ... Why do we want you to have this job?  Simple.  We love you."

Love is patient and kind ...

Both are very hard for me, particularly in the areas of marriage and parenting.  The appreciation of God allowing me this opportunity of motherhood still flows strong tides of gratitude in me.  I still remember thinking, "I would never have children."
I remember those words coming from those who thought they knew better than He ... the doctors.  But God loved me and completed me by giving me the desires of my heart.  He gave me not one or two children.  He gave me SEVEN.
That girl who sat beside me displaying selfishness was lamented for.  She was prayed for.  So my thought was, "I dare you do this thing not only to us, but to God!  You are what you are and you have what you have by the GRACE of a GRACIOUS, LOVING God!
And this isn't the way you will thank Him while living under this roof."  
God's kind of love is directed towards others, it isn't directed inward toward ourselves.  His love is unselfish.  It's hard to display at times as it goes against all of our natural tendencies—inclinations.
God through the Fruit of His Spirit has made it possible for all of His children to take hold of His kind of love.  A love where we do because we want the highest good for another.  We do because we're looking out for what is best for someone else.
We must teach God's love to our children in word and deed.

"The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns oblivious of the rose." ~ Kahlil Gibran

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This post is linked to Raising Homemakers , Women Living Well ,  A Holy Experience and Happy Little Homemaker.


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