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"Where hides the joy of the Lord?"

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"W here hides this joy of the Lord?"  That's the question that's been plaguing my mind lately. God loves me this I know.  But I don't feel it.  I see it, yet I don't see it.  I see things in my life working, yes, but how is it working for my good???  I wonder.  These feelings are the feelings that in times past caused me to travel inward.  Isolate...turn back in search of fullness .  I'm hungry and need God's fueling... I bow the knees time and time again.  I skim through the Scriptures looking for morsels.  I find nuggets, but the soul doesn't seemed touched as it normally is. I utter these words...these feelings quietly to Him in prayer.  I fight.  I fight the feeling, but eventually it overtakes me and I give in totally to the lie.  Clenching it closely even .  "God is withholding good from me . "   I'm totally embarrassed by these thoughts for I know they are not true, yet they seem to hav...